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Shaming: Our Great American Pastime

(Another re-post after an unfortunate zoo accident in 2016.  Like most topics these days, it's still terribly relevant.)

As Americans, we love so many inappropriate things.  We love fatty, deep-fried foods.  We love dirty jokes.  We love spending lots of money on unnecessary things. 


And we love shaming.


After the tragic incident at the Cincinnati zoo a few weeks ago, NPR pointed out that it turned many folks to a particular shaming that thrives in America: parent shaming.  Oh, yes indeed, as a culture we love to point out who's doing a bad job at their mommying.  And yes, it is usually the mommying that we zoom in on foremost.


But the truth is, we love to shame just about anything we can lay that tag upon.  The word has become fairly overused these days.  Even back in 2013, Slate made a point about how it was not only overused but might also be mislabeled.  And I think they have a bit of a point.  I have been one to say that no one accepts criticism anymore, even healthy or constructive criticism.  I don't believe anyone wants to be told they're wrong. 






So we roll on with our most often targets of the shame:


Slut shaming.


Fat shaming.


Body shaming. (can go for overweight or underweight, depending on the shamer & audience)


Poverty shaming.


Addiction shaming.


Privilege shaming.


Internet shaming.


Child shaming.  (for their bad behavior)


Pet shaming.






There are more, I'm sure, but those are the topics I most often encounter.  And I have to say, it's hard for a sensible person like myself to even use the Internet at times when it is usually at the heart of all this shaming.  I've always been a bit of a "live and let live" kinda gal, but my principles of modesty and good taste are often tested in this arena. 


Real life example: if I comment that an otherwise funny humor site posts repeated videos of a dermatologist popping pimples (not kidding) does that make me a troll or a shamer?  Should I just block the site?  Should I keep my opinion to myself?  And further, doesn't a posting like that deserve a little shame? 



Whatever happened to the lovely old school phrase "have you no shame?"  It is both funny and an indictment.  Maybe I should just drop that here and there in my comments and be done with it.


The truth is, I think sometimes we need shame.  We need to think about the things we've done.  We need to assess and weigh our mistakes.  But (and here's the big but) only WE can assess and take our own shame.  It's not for society to divvy out.  Those days are over.  (Thank goodness.)  Unfortunately, too many folks are out there ready to jump in and dole out that shame.  And liberally too, I might add.






So while everyone is shaming the zoo keepers, shaming the parents of that poor child, shaming people for their eating habits and substance abuse, shaming people for their opinions, shaming people for their number of sexual partners, and shaming people for their shaming (oh, the irony) I think I'll just be over here chilling out.  Because I have reached that time of year when it's just too hot and I'm just too annoyed to try to sort through everyone else's issues.  I really just like the Internets for looking at cute animal pics and sharing show flyers and music reviews.  The rest is all just noise to me.  And these days, it just gets noisier and noisier. 

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