Becky's Greatest Hits Vol. II

 Found this story about the late and wonderful Jim Henson. I'm going to post it by my desk and remind myself of it every day this winter..... Here are the many memories of my horrific late winter, early spring pneumonia ordeal this past year. The year I turned 50 and honestly thought I might die.  And people, take care of yourselves.  Don't second guess what you know to be true.  And when you're down, stay down until you get well.  I would never want to learn this lesson the hard way ever again.  

 So I had a not very good late winter, early spring.  I turned 50 in February and within a few days, I got very sick.  The weird thing is how long it took for my medical team to figure out what was wrong with me.  I realized that having a previous diagnosis (asthma) clouded the judgement of every medical professional I saw.  What kept being called a "flare up" or "ongoing bronchitis" was a growing, walking pneumonia. I remember very well the night I got sick.  It was a night of sleet and I was out in a strange place with a man who paraded me around like arm candy.  By the time I woke up the next morning, I was feverish and had lost my voice.  I don't think it was a coincidence.  By the time I was diagnosed, I had been to the pulmonary specialist once, with a phone call follow-up for meds.  To the general practitioner 3 times with an ER visit in between.  To finally a go-straight-to-the-hospital-right-now for a CT scan.  Then fi...

 Today is the birthday of one of my oldest friends.  We met in line getting our I.D. badges made in college.  I guess we had been at school a day or two at that point.  That was over 30 years ago and here we are.  Both hitting 50.  Life has moved, changed, continued and gone on. When I think about my old friends, ones I've known since young adulthood and even childhood, I often think about how we're the same but different.  Our spirits and general nature stays the same, but often our behaviors and dispositions get a little more fluid.   I know women who were feisty spitfires as girls who are now fierce Mama Bears and conscientious movers and shakers in their careers.  I know gentle-spirited women who have raised very sweet, empathic children. I've seen friendly spirited, charismatic dudes become very good at selling the world and selling themselves.  I've seen shy guys come into their own in middle age and quiet women become ferocio...

  If you're a single lady late in life, at some point Garrett Breedlove will land in front of you.  And no matter how experienced and cynical you might be, you will not be ready.   If you fell in love with Ronny Cammareri when you were about 14, you never had a chance anyway. Or Johnny Castle.  (BTW, do you know this photo is called "Johnny beckoning"? It has been burned on my brain for over 30 years now......geez.) And I feel like I can even really speak on Lloyd Dobler, Jake Ryan or even Blaine and Ducky.  And don't get me started on Yuri Zhivago, Nickie Ferrante or Rhett Butler.  I can't even go there.  Us girls.....Hollywood never gave us a chance, did it?

 Even though I've been grappling with severe back and leg pain for over 2 months now, I still did not want to admit that I needed help.  Even if I could barely stand.  Even if I could barely walk.  And I especially felt it true when I walked into my office with the help of a walking stick and one of my coworkers quickly named me " Gandalf the Grey" .   All I can say is this to the 27 year-old kiddo, one day you're gonna be my age.  I hope you either take better care of yourself or wish and dream that you don't have this problem.  But when my friend/partner in crime gave me this walking stick I said "eh sure......thanks, dude" and decided I'd used it in front of him to humor him. Until I realized how much it really did help me.  AND  how much I truly did need it.  That's the thing about support.......sometimes it arrives from surprising sources and just in the nick of time.  Now I'm leaning on it, keeping it close by and dependi...

 I turned 49 this year. And then suddenly I seemed to fall apart. Now I have more doc appointments than I have dinner dates.  Now I show up early at medical professional suites to drop off or pick up tools and medications.  Now I check and update "My Chart" every day.  Now I think about my insurance deductible. Now I think everything has changed.   I walk into my orthopedic office and I compare my limp and hobble to everyone else's.  Well surely, I think, I'm walking better than they are. I tell myself I don't need any sort of ambulatory device and that my problem is temporary as I lean on a rail, a step, a stump.....whatever can give me support as I try my hardest to stand for as long as I can.   I drag into my pulmonary appointments, which have nothing to do with my orthopedic problems by the way, and wonder if I'll be pulling an oxygen tank behind me one day like so many of the patients I see around me.   I try to make small talk...