Becky's Greatest Hits Vol. II

 Can we all just agree that New Year's Eve is the worst of the string of winter holidays?  I would even go so far as saying it's THE WORST of all the holidays.  I loved when Stanford Blatch defined a party as feeling very "forced festive".  To me, most NYE parties feel that way.  The idea that this is a big year-end blow-out and we'd all damn well better make it awesome! The reason I hate NYE is because it combines two of things I most hate about celebrations: cold weather and crowds.  Plus it's during a time of year when everyone has already spent all their money.  AND you usually have to the leave the house.  ADDITIONALLY, you have to stay up late.  It's a big F.U. from me on all this.   I would dare say that some of my happiest New Year's memories have been spent at home in my pajamas with either my child, an S.O. or happily alone.  I remember one unforgettable year of moving into a 3rd floor apartment on NYE.  I rememb...

 Cameron Crowe is not a grown-up man.  He has never been married. Or divorced.  He's not a father.  He's never raised his voice or cursed in traffic. He's still a virgin.  He still calls his mom every night. He's never tried drugs or even had a taste of liquor. He's a boy.  A sweet, sweet teenage boy. And this memoir, which dives into everything you think you know about Crowe, actually gives you a heartbreak all the while leaving you with a bit of a happy-sad feeling.  Hmmm.  The more I think about it, that happy-sad feeling is about the best way to describe a Cameron Crowe film.  The family sitch is not all that relatable (although I do see a little of myself in his mother, Alice) but the drive to be a writer and to be close to music sure is. When he talked about seeing his byline in Creem for the first time, I teared up a little. When he remembered his excitement from his early interviews with Kris Kristofferson and Glenn Frey, I felt that ...

 Found this story about the late and wonderful Jim Henson. I'm going to post it by my desk and remind myself of it every day this winter..... Here are the many memories of my horrific late winter, early spring pneumonia ordeal this past year. The year I turned 50 and honestly thought I might die.  And people, take care of yourselves.  Don't second guess what you know to be true.  And when you're down, stay down until you get well.  I would never want to learn this lesson the hard way ever again.  

 This non-fiction book focusing on case studies out of Atlanta could be your city and could definitely be mine.  It could be you and it could be me.  It's riveting, it's sad and it's atrocious.  It's the best and most necessary social-economic commentary I've seen in a long time. I've told many people that this book is the Nickel and Dimed of our time but instead of focusing on the wage crisis, this one is looking at the affordable housing crisis.  Doesn't affect you?  Think again.  It effects us all, but it desperately hurts a certain few.  And I hope to whatever god you believe in that if you still don't understand white privilege and the long-term effects of slavery and Jim Crow laws, that at least you have a better education after spending time here.   It will also make you never look at an extended-stay hotel the same again.  

  Lately, I've had to find music that can keep me working while not arousing any sort of emotion or distraction in me. Can you imagine how hard this is for a music nerd like me?  Highly complicated guitar "math rock" is working for me. And also this weird guy/band from Australia.   You know a video is weird when it is immediately accompanied by "reaction videos", so I won't even try to interpret what's happening here.  I just like the smooth slightly psychedelic vibe that doesn't remind me of anyone or anything bad ever happening to me.  I throw this on and get down on some heavy EXCELling.   You know......like we all do.

 I really hate not having anyone to commiserate over politics anymore.  On the other hand, I've kind of enjoyed taking myself out of the political landscape.  It all just feels so pointless now that we have tipped over the edge of decency and common sense in America.  It's sad and scary, and I've never felt more defeated as a voter and a citizen in my life. Maybe that's why I've started watching Homeland again now that it's back on Netflix.  And I can't help but wonder if it's back on streaming now that we have a real-live Manchurian Candidate in office. Of course, I never miss a chance to spend time with Saul . There are so many current issues to be grossed out by right now....ICE running rampant across beautifully diverse cities, outright non-apologetic bad behavior by elected officials from the top down, cuts across necessary food programs.....yeah....I'm still paying attention even if I don't say so. But the phenom I'm really bothered by...

 Until you've been beside a man You don't know what he wants. You don't know if he cries at night You don't know if he don't. When nothin comes easy Old nightmares are real. Until you've been beside a man You don't know how he feels.

 If this is the state of today's rom-com, I feel sorry for the current generation of romantics since I found this movie to be neither very rommy nor commy.  You won't find a Ronnie and Loretta or Frankie and Johnnie here. It's very modern and the problems are very eclectic of our current dating times.  Throughout, it feels very ham-fisted and without emotion.  To be sure, there are no warm fuzzies here, and in the end, the whole thing feels like one big settlement.   Also worth noting: height, age and weight are big deals in this flick so be ready to be triggered.  But if you've been dating for a few years, you already know this.  Lucy's big speech to John about her foibles did hit home for me and probably would for anyone who ever felt they fell short of a man who truly loved them in a way they didn't feel deserved.  I couldn't help feeling at the end that her choice was okay for that day, but wouldn't ultimately last.   But then a...

So many versions of this song out there, but this one is my current fave.  

 

 There is a meme, and a general question in the air these days......what radicalized you? It has become a joke, but for some of us, it's a very real question and one we have actually spent time on.  I'll gladly share my list from as early back as I can remember.  I first want to say how much I appreciate that my parents, local Charlotte radio and my elementary school and junior high school librarians didn't censor me. It was reading James Baldwin, a gay man born in Harlem in the 1920's, before I was even 13.  Before I was even old enough to know what all of those qualities might mean.  It was not reading Richard Wright and Nikki Giovanni until I took an African American Lit class in my 30's with Dr. Alicia McCollough.  It was not until Barack was inaugurated.  It was not until Bernie stepped away from the podium for BLM speakers.  It was not until George Floyd.  It was not until Sonya Massey.   It was reading Slaughterhouse-Five at ...

I really dug his first book with James Patterson , and I like this one pretty good too.  The only problem with this one is that I'm listening to it as an audiobook, and I don't dig all the voices.  A real first-world problem, I know.  And it's always kind of interesting to see how Bill is kind of spelling out how he sees himself in the world, or rather, how he wants to be seen.   This book by Rax King, on the other hand, makes it quite a joy to listen to her lovely voice as she reads her own, sometimes boring sometimes scary, escapades as a teenager and young adult.  Her full chapter on Creed makes the entire book with the read. For television viewing, I did enjoy the History Channel series of Thomas Jefferson, but got a little bored by the FDR episodes.  And that shocked me as I love FDR!  Something about the presentation and the actor portraying him looking a little too much like Kevin Spacey methinks. And even though I didn't see ANY of his mov...

 I liked Hole well enough back in the day, but never knew much about their personnel.  So I didn't really understand the mighty might of Patty Schemel. Again, you can't beat listening to this as an audiobook.  Patty's voice, her deadpan delivery and somewhat deadpan view of this time in her life sets a real mood that will take you straight back to the cold blue greys of 90's rock.   And just like Kathleen Hanna's book , this memoir offers up opinions on Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain, which will make you feel some kind of way toward both of them.  The thing I most hated was realizing that Kurt taught Patty how to fix.  It's not shocking....but it is still sad.  It's amazing that Patty lived through all this.  And anyone who studies rock stars will often say that, but that realization is VERY true with Patty.  She brushed up against death and tragedy way too many times.   I finished this memoir and went back and watched video of ...

 Carry yourself like a beautiful woman Even if you feel tired Even if you feel ugly Walk as if you are an aristocrat Hold your head as if you are regal Reach out your hand as if you are a goddess. Carry yourself like a beautiful woman Smile at everyone Watch strangers smile back Wait as men open doors for you Women will want to befriend you Children will climb into your lap. Carry yourself like a beautiful woman Steady your voice  Slow your steps Listen as people quiet themselves for you And feel their movement pace with yours. Carry yourself like a beautiful woman Watch as the world waits for you Quiet yourself as it listens to you Step into your power Become who you've always meant to be.

 Sometimes it all works out.  Life falls apart, life gets fixed again.  We find and lose precious items, precious people.  The world spins, life goes on, and we go on too.  Go back to The Lost Ring for the backstory on this journey of a piece of jewelry and of myself. 

 The bunnies of 1975 continue to roll into their 50th year of life.  May they find peace, joy and long lives full of love and success. 

 I was kinda amazed to recently see that all of my old "My City" articles are alive and well over at My City Magazine's site .   You have to click on the individual articles to access a PDF (and it's easier to do on a desktop or laptop computer than a phone) but you can see the pics and read the actual articles from the last 10 years.   Tiff Tantrum David Childers Paint Fumes Leisure McCorkle Felicia Castelow  (now known as Finn Castelow) The Menders   Benji Hughes (my only cover story but sadly incomplete on this link) And there are some, that I've got to be honest about now 10 years later, that I can barely remember because they were typically written as a favor or filler.  Sorry.  And there are also a few that I dearly loved (Dust & Ashes) that don't seem to be there.  Again, sorry. It was a good ride.  And 10 years later, I still get asked about it and even (weirdly) recognized for my work over there.  And for that, I'...

 It's almost a damn shame how much I love ragging S&TC nowadays.  But I think that was my favorite part of Susan Seidelman's memoir.....her discussion of her involvement in the HBO mega-hit.  She directed the pilot and also two of my favorite first season episodes: The Power of the Female Sex and The Baby Shower.  That was when that show was fun and unique.  Later even Susan recognized it as becoming tone-deaf and out of touch.   I also liked hearing her stories about Lower East Side Manhattan in the late 70's and early 80's.  It's one of my fave historical times of NYC for its creativity and grit.  When I was a kid I didn't understand how the different neighborhoods and boroughs of NYC worked.....I just thought it was funny how different the places looked in films.  Her effort to keep the Lower East Side and the "dirtier" life of New York was so much more real and entertaining than the glossier films of the city. Probably her bigges...

 As an older single gal, I get advice from well-meaning people all the time.  Of all that advice and observation, I think this might be one of the few books that really spoke to me. Jane Juska did something revolutionary back in 2001.  She wrote a book about being an older single woman who still wanted to have sex.  The book was called "A Round-Heeled Woman" and it was powerful. Imagine that! Then she followed up with this book which more about how RHW came to be and what came after. There are so many things I love about Jane.  She is real and unapologetic.  Modern but also rooted in polite tradition.  I think I see myself in women like this.  We understand what our current times are all about, but we still miss some old-fashioned tropes. I love how Jane laments a man she's in love with even though she knows she shouldn't be.  I love how she's not willing to give up exactly what she wants in a relationship.  I love how she's still a roma...

 It has taken me a long time, nearly 20 years, to describe my child as having Profound Autism.  I have often said "he functions as an 8 year-old child".  I have said his inability to have a job was because of his inability to "attend to a task and follow directions" in a typical way.  I have said many times "he has language but is not necessarily conversational".  I have said these things many, many times. Why couldn't I just have said this? Was I trying to make myself feel better or make the folks who asked about him more comfortable?   The term "intellectual disability" is now used instead of another word that sadly became a slur.  Was I trying to avoid my child being a slur? For whatever reason, I always had explanations and details to describe my son.  And I suppose in some ways, I always will.  I don't want anyone to ever see him as being "locked away in a home".  I don't ever want anyone to see him as being lost or wit...

 Historically, blockade runners were ships that brought supplies to areas that were blocked off from supply chains usually caused by war and conflict.  If a ship was a blockade runner, it was definitely going to encounter danger. Blockade runners were ships that were known for their speed and their excellent and resourceful crewmen.  They were also known to benefit financially for such risky endeavors. If you remember from the famous film (now seen as very un-pc) Gone with the Wind, Rhett Butler was known as a blockade runner, among other scandalous pursuits. These days blocks and blockades have an entirely different meaning.  Road blocks on busy highways often denote construction or accidents.  Blockades are sometimes used in modern war efforts, but not often.  They are perceived as unhumanitarian because they are. But let's be honest, what do most of us think of when we think of blocking?  Blocking a scene on stage?  Running a scary boat mission...

 Sure, you can watch them any time of year.  But watching in the summer makes them sooooo much better! And true, these films do seem to have a stamp of Gen X on them, but have we ever steered y'all wrong? One Crazy Summer, 1986 Dazed & Confused, 1993 Jaw, 1975 Stand by Me, 1986 Stealing Home, 1988 The Love Letter, 1999 Rear Window, 1954 The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, 2005 Dirty Dancing, 1987 Woodstock, 1970 Secret Admirer, 1985 Mystic Pizza, 1988 Summer Catch, 2001 Southside With You, 2016 How I Spent My Summer Vacation, 1997 Beaches, 1988 Little Manhattan, 2005