Becky's Greatest Hits Vol. II

(Here at the end of the month of April, Autism Awareness Month, I'm resharing a post from way back in 2019.  So much has changed.  My son and I have both grown and changed so much.  But the sentiment is of differences and acceptance still rings true.) Having a kid with special needs made me learn early on how to choose my battles.  It also taught me a lot about defining a "new normal".  What made sense for other parents and their kids might not work for us.  It took me a while, but over time I got okay with that. I also began coming to terms with what kind of mom I was, and even better, what kind of mom I was not.  Not everybody gets us kid, but we've got each other. In the beginning, I was all over all of the events having to do with autism.  The walks, the fundraisers, the awareness events.  And then I began realizing that my kid didn't enjoy them and neither did I.  As a matter of fact, I felt worse after trying to do them....

(Originally posted in April 2012) Every year when April comes around I think about how I should contribute to Autism Awareness Month. A lot of folks are lighting up blue this year.....there's always lots of blogs......charity fundraising events, etc. Now that I don't participate in a local support group, I wasn't sure what I wanted to add to the conversation. And then yesterday, I got my answer. About a year ago a husband and wife subcontractor team came into our construction company to complete some work. I chatted with the wife for a while and she noticed some autism-related info on the bulletin board in my office. This got us started talking about Little Boy and she shared with me that her niece had recently shown many signs but hadn't yet been diagnosed. I gave her some info about local groups, jotted down a book she should read, and gave her the general spiel I used to share with new parents. I could tell that she and her husband both really took it in and ...

 For this last week of April, I'm sharing some re-posts that I've written over the years about my son's autism.  I've realized that he and I have both grown and gone through so much over the years.  We're not the same people we were when we first received the diagnosis in 2005.  Our personalities, family structures and relationships and even our medications have changed a lot since then! While many of my thoughts and perspectives have changed, a few things haven't.  So I want to speak directly to parents of all special needs kids, both child and adult, right now: 1) Reach out for help.  Ask for support.  Nobody expects you to do this alone. 2) This isn't your fault.   3) It's okay to be sad and angry.  It's okay to grieve a loss. 4) It might not ever be what you expected, but it will be okay. You will find a new normal. 5) You, and your kid, are doing your best. I don't have to know your kids' diagnosis or situation to know all of the ab...

  This book sounds heartbreaking, sad and needy.  And I suppose in some ways it is. But don't get it twisted.  This isn't a book written for single people.  It's a book written for people trying to stand alone and strong amidst difficult personal relationships and dysfunctional family dynamics.  It's a book about empowerment.  It's a book about resilience. I read this book just as I started dating again, and hoo boy, did some of it hit home for me. To be honest, this book wasn't entirely relatable to me, however, the coping strategies and means of finding community and support are very good.  I've always loved the idea of "chosen family" and of course Logical Family .  It's a principle many of us live by.  And not necessarily by choice.   Ms. Moore has a new book out now, You Will Find Your People, which sounds a lot like the Logical Family model.  I think we all have to applaud the fact that even in these times of isolation an...

  In this fascinating two-part documentary, a very articulate and intelligent Ms. Shields hashes over her career beginning with child model to actress, wife, mother, writer, advocate.   I think it's pretty true to assume, as is discussed throughout the doc, that a movie like "Pretty Baby" wouldn't get made today.  The question is: why did it ever get made back then??? The nostalgia of this doc is truly enjoyable.  All of the ads, personal appearances, variety shows and of course the infamous "Blue Lagoon" are what I remember of Brooke Shields when I was a kid.  She was the beauty ideal of the 1980's and an aspirational young lady to boot.  She was always so soft-spoken and intelligent in interviews and then, I'll be darned if she didn't go to Princeton!  And she married the gorgeous and talented Andre Agassi......she had it all! The more grown-up and astute Brooke Shields looks back at the more difficult parts in her life: the relationship with h...

  Sigh.  So much to unpack here.  First of all, I knew I wasn't going to like this book going in after I listened to a podcast review of it. The moderators said that Perry is selfish, rude and basically hates all women and treats them as the beautiful objects they are......even his own mother......with barely-veiled disdain. They were correct on all counts. Second of all, I have had my fair share of experience with addicts and I can say without hesitation that they are the most selfish people on earth. Artistic endeavors often paint them as sad, often misunderstood characters but with so much charm they are still somehow beloved. Not so in this case. I really dislike Matthew Perry after reading this book. Sure, we've all got personal pain. Divorced parents. Anxiety. Career uncertainty. Cold Canadian weather. But overall, this memoir was simply a "wah wah my life is so hard being a wealthy white kid traveling between California and Ottawa as a young tennis player and priva...

 The great thing about socialism is all the great FREE stuff you get!  Public libraries are probably one of my faves.  I often hear about a book I'd like to read from a news story or a podcast and then pop into the library to check it out.....for FREE! But honestly my favorite library activity is simply perusing the shelves quietly, languidly, but with purpose.  My heart and mind always lead me to the non-fiction....mostly memoirs and social sciences.  Here are some recent interesting picks: This book by Jason Reynolds and Jason Griffon is labeled as a Young Adult read and is a lovely hodgepodge of poetry, art and memoir.  Written by two young guys just out of college who chose to navigate New York City together, it highlights the struggle of the young, often hungry, creatives who decide to try their luck in big cities. I think this book was mainly written for women in their 20's and 30's looking to land a man and start a family immediately if not sooner....

 Well, I think we all had no doubt this film would be cute.  Because older ladies loving football and getting into high-jinks based on their age is super cute, right? Yes, it absolutely is.  These ladies are strong, in control and having a great time.  And sure there are some jokes at their expense based on ageism and sexism, but nobody minds because they are all living their best lives.   I can't help but think that this film is a gift to the Patriots fans and an opportunity to re-live an awesome Super Bowl win over the Atlanta Falcons in 2017.  Knowing the changes and upsets to the team since then makes this movie all the more special to its fans, I'm sure.   But not me.  I'm not a Patriots fan.  I am a fan of these ladies though.  A solid 10 on this movie.   

 Of course, I grew up knowing about Rosemary's Baby.  It's the kind of movie you hear referenced so much throughout your life that it becomes an ubiquitous part of the culture. Truthfully, I don't know if I thought that up myself or I heard it on this podcast which encouraged me to give the film and the novel a try, "You Are Good".   You Are Good is probably one of my favorite podcasts because it doesn't just discuss movies, it discusses the "feelings" that movies give us.  It talks about the culture surrounding the movie, the zeitgeist it creates, what the actors experienced while filming and how all those little nuggets impact us all. I loved the takes on this film by podcast hosts Sarah Marshall and Alex Steed, along with guest Sarah Archer, as they discussed the actors and their other iconic roles (Ruth Gordon, anyone?) as well as the importance of the apartment in the film (the famous Dakota becomes the famous Bramford) and of course the fact th...