Becky's Greatest Hits Vol. II

 "Tractor company?  Does your husband work there?" "No, dude.  I work there." "Oh.  Wow.  Okay." Actual conversation with guy I met at the fair asking about the company t-shirt I was wearing that advertised said tractor company.   As a woman who has worked in the administrative, creative and retail side of construction for over 15 years, sometimes I forget that the world doesn't always think like I do, and gratefully neither does my industry.  This isn't a statistical kind of blog, but I can tell you that more and more women work in construction than ever before.....and not just in office jobs like me!  Women are driving, repairing and operating heavy equipment.  They advertise it, sell it and negotiate pricing for it.  They own companies that use it and teach other people how to use it.   Women.....gasp!  Get their hands dirty now! (But to be fair whilst at the fair, I saw another man employed by the same company as ...

(Re-post from 2011.  Still true.) E-Roc: "Little Boy's a straight shooter. He'll tell you when he doesn't like something." Me: "So will his mother." (E-Roc, explaining some of Little Boy's stimming behavior while company was at our house recently. Me, chiming in with editorial comment.)

Sunpportunity: an opportunity for unexpected sun and tanning. Examples: I didn't expect this soccer game to be such a sunpportunity for me! This outdoor wedding is a real sunpportunity in a sleeveless dress! I'll just wait here for the offers from Coppertone and Hawaiian Tropic to start rolling in. What?  They've already stolen it, trademarked it and sold it? I'm such a dumbass.  This is why I'll forever be poor.   Sigh.

12 year-old girl to her mother: I can't believe you had to do all that just to have me. Mother: MmmHmmm. 12 year-old girl: But I don't want to have to touch the parts.  Do you have to touch their parts? Mother: You do have to touch their parts, yes.  12 year-old girl: (speechless) Mother: Of course, not yet.  But someday you will actually want to touch the parts.  (The preceding was that good ole birds and the bees talk a dear friend of mine had with her pre-pubescent daughter.  You've got to laugh at it, people, or you'll lose your mind.)

Conversation in the truck while riding to the DQ last week.  "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath comes on the terrestrial radio station.   Me: Do you know what that song is?   Little Boy: (with enthusiasm) Heavy Metal!   Me & E-Roc: (gaze at one another proudly)

"That Ruby is such a little bitch!"   (Discussion with my nutty coworker, Sharon, about which children's shows we can and cannot tolerate.  Ironically, she actually likes watching Max &  Ruby!) 

Conversation over the weekend with my child regarding his fast-approaching 12th birthday.  My son has definitely hit the age in which food is very important to him.  Although you'd never guess by his lanky little body.   Me: You know your birthday is coming up soon.  What would you like to have? Little Boy: Cupcake! Me: Yes, we'll have cake, but what would you like for a present? Little Boy: Birthday cake! Me: Yes, yes, we'll have birthday cake for your birthday.  But what would you like mommy to get you for a gift?  A present you can have?  Like maybe from the toy store? Little Boy: Doughnut! Me: Okay.

"Look at me, I'm Becky!  One fruity drink, and I'm blasting Night Ranger!" (E-Roc, making fun of me when he realized I was a fan of Night Ranger on Facebook and have them in my newsfeed.)

Last night, my ordinarily very intelligent husband thought that Abbie Hoffman was Jimmy Hoffa.  I let him by with it because he is especially cute and usually very smart. 

"I enjoy working with you and I'd hate to see you leave, but BOY are you in the wrong profession!" (Coworker and friend, Angela, commenting on my rusty but still mad social working skills. Luckily, the diploma still hangs on my wall for whatever it's worth in a construction office.)

"I was watching the Grammy's this morning. I devo'd it." (Sweet but misguided lady in my office this morning.)

E-Roc: American Pie ? Isn't that the song about the dad that doesn't play with his kid? Me: I think you're thinking of Cat's in the Cradle , hon. E-Roc (still looking unconvinced): Oh, okay. (Me and E-Roc after an impromptu discussion of the plane crash that killed legendary musicians back in the 1950's.)

Angela: Where do you learn the things you learn? Me: NPR (My coworker , incredulously, after I explain to her the good and bad parts and the backstory behind The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo .)

"Do you know that anything being wrong with your big toe messes up everything? I cut my toenail too short and it hurts like a sonofabitch!" (My coworker, Jen-Nay, making me laugh the biggest hoot I can remember in a while and making her second but certainly not last appearance on "The Funny Things You Say".)

"Your blogs are pretty much the written equivalent of watching a Bette Midler movie, while eating quiche, on fancy dinnerware, with a pinky extended while holding the fork!" (A guy friend explaining that my blog is pretty girly in context.....well, duh!)

"Baby, that train has sailed." (E-Roc, half awake, talking about something goofy one recent morning.)

"I don't really like Seinfeld because it's set in olden times." (E-Roc's 19 year-old coworker commenting on today's great television.)

"Sounds like they're having a fight. Probably over their My Little Ponies or something....." (E-Roc, on the sounds of disarray coming from our downstairs 20-something girl neighbors at 2:15 this morning.)

"That's not goofy, baby. That's SCIENCE!" (E-Roc explaining to me, with great conviction, how a fabric softener sheet will kill a Yellow Jacket hovering right by the nest that needs to be removed from the deck.)