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October is My December: A Very Early Anti-Christmas Rant

(A frequent re-post that holds up year after year.)


Aaaaah, the fall.  My favorite time of year has arrived.  October is my December.  It has 31 days and culminates in the most fun holiday of all: Halloween.


It doesn't require shopping and pans of pans of baking.  The fall doesn't ask you to show your love by how much you can buy (or charge).  It only asks that you look around and enjoy.  Oh, and maybe toss a handful of fallen leaves into the air, but that is totally optional of course.



The fall doesn't make you feel guilty for all the things you can't do and all the people you can't be.  It doesn't ask you to be in three different locations at once and to act as mother/sister/aunt/friend to relatives you barley know and only see once a year.  It doesn't ask you to participate in rituals that mean nothing to you.  The autumn holidays are full of fun and choice.


The season of fall is full of fun activities!  It has kids in costumes, foods spiced with pumpkin, hay rides, festivals and fairs, cool nights, and leaves......oh, joy......the leaves!  It does not have tinsel that will stick to your skin and pine needles that will liter your floor.  It does not have gift tags and bags and return counters.  It doesn't even make you feel badly if you don't like it!  Autumn is happy and sure enough of itself that it's okay if everyone doesn't participate and sing its praises.


I think lots of others feel like I do but are afraid to say so.  They may say "I love Christmas" but spend many late nights brooding about the work, time and money it takes to get it all done.  They may even ask like I do every year, how did a one-day holiday get stretched into 30 (or more)?


 Whereas, the fall actually lasts longer than 30 days, and that's okay!  Because it's obligations are few, but it's pleasures are many!  And some of those folks who claim to love Christmas may actually love it.  But why are they always trying so hard to get everyone else to love it?  If you like chocolate cake it's still gonna taste good even if I hate it.  You may have a hard time imagining anyone hates chocolate cake, but some people do.  You can still enjoy it though. Go ahead!  But can you stop trying to convince me to like chocolate cake?  I already told you!  I don't like chocolate cake, goddammit it!  Get the damn chocolate cake outta my face! 

 I'm not saying you can't have Christmas and even that you can't enjoy it.  Start decorating and shopping now if you'd like.  But to those of us that don't share your enthusiasm, leave us alone.  Stop making us feel badly for not loving your religious-pagan-spending traditions.  Stop saying it's about Christ when Jesus H. Christ you know it's not.  It's not!!!!!!

Let me enjoy my season, and I'll let you enjoy yours.  And we'll all be much merrier and happier for it, I'm sure.  In a time when we're all encouraged to embrace the differences of others, how we look at the holidays may just be a good place to start.  Now Merry Christmas and Happy Halloween to all!
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