Becky's Greatest Hits Vol. II

 I went to the library this past week and remembered how much I loved it.  Just sitting there, staring up at its gorgeous skylight windows.  I love those windows. I wondered how many times I've come back here when life has let me down.   I forgot how much I loved sitting among people....just sitting with a quiet hum and bustle around me.  Complete safety, no expectations, no need to move or talk or even smile.  No need to spend energy or money.  Just being.  I indulged in the joy of perusing the stacks. I looked at and picked up books I will probably never read. I imagined lives I will never live, places I will never go.   I watched people, young and old.  People like me who count the library as their "third place" .  People who can come back and feel at home no matter how long they've been gone.  The library always welcomes you back.  It doesn't remind you of your mistakes.  The doors open and you immediate...

 Current mood is brought to you by: looming birthday, bipolar perimenopause, old lady broken heart and the nesting that ensues after all of it comes down at once. And bonus vibes of past failures: if I had stuck out the first marriage, today would have been my 27th anniversary.

 Found this story about the late and wonderful Jim Henson. I'm going to post it by my desk and remind myself of it every day this winter..... Here are the many memories of my horrific late winter, early spring pneumonia ordeal this past year. The year I turned 50 and honestly thought I might die.  And people, take care of yourselves.  Don't second guess what you know to be true.  And when you're down, stay down until you get well.  I would never want to learn this lesson the hard way ever again.  

 I have so many feelings about this memoir. Given that I was also a "Mommy Blogger" at the same time as the author, I well remember the "oh isn't it so fun being a tipsy mom" mentality of the time. And I didn't dig it.  Having been a social drinker since college, I have never felt (and never will feel) that being intoxicated or on drugs while caring for children is okay. With that said, I'm not trying to say I don't understand the following: post-partum depression child care stress loneliness as a stay-at-home parent pre-existent diagnosis of anxiety and/or depression addiction I appreciate the candor of Wilder-Taylor's story.  And I congratulate her on her sobriety.  However, I have a little trouble with her lackadaisical view of addiction including her own. (As a sufferer of migraines I feel like I can say this: going through 100 pills in a week is an addiction whether you are willing to call it that or not.) And I also continue to be annoyed b...

 Memes have become my new fortune cookies, daily horoscopes and fonts of wisdom.  My Facebook feed reads all of my moods to deliver just the right words for all my needs.  I save them, pass them on, and turn to them for exactly the motivation I'm looking for given the day's crisis and/or catharsis.   I notice a good bit of what I gravitate toward concerns renewal, forgiveness, and self care.  But some are just straight up funny and slide right in just when I need cheering up. A good many of the memes that slide to me are directly relating to heartbreak and romantic disappointment, because hey, we all know that Mark never stops listening!   Of course I follow a lot of "you go girl" and "woman power" sort of pages and groups, so those memes are pretty easy to spot.  But I don't diminish one bit of how important they can be for self-esteem, self-care and forgiveness. I'm also a huge fan of the "softness" memes.  Encouragement of embracing who ...

  There's something about a man asking you to dance.  You feel chosen.  He didn't pick her.  He picked you. There's something about a man asking you to marry him.  Or even saying he wants to marry you.  Someday.   You feel honored.  There will be no other after you. There's something about a man saying he wishes you would or could have had his babies.  It's the greatest compliment.  He wants to carry on his life through you. There's something about the way a man can exalt a woman with his words.   Whether he means them or not. They are beautiful words. They are magic. Be careful of them. 

 As Mother's Day approaches, remember to treat yourself and others with care.  There is so much about each other, and ourselves, that we are still trying to understand.   Be gentle with yourself.  Forgive yourself.  Maybe forgive her.  Maybe don't.  Maybe talk to her.  Maybe don't.  Maybe let some of it go.  If you can. Maybe give yourself a break and admit you're doing your best.  Maybe let some things go.  Maybe don't pay attention to influencers.  Maybe stop trying to being an influencer yourself.  Just be.  Maybe just be you.  Maybe stop caring about what anyone else thinks.   Maybe laugh about it.  Kid about it.  Turn it all into a joke.  Be glad you never had kids and never wanted any.  Rejoice in your freedom.  Enjoy your empty nest.  Your quiet time.  Money that only belongs to you.  Maybe see it differently.   Maybe treat yourself....