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I'm 'That Kind' of Mom With 'That Kind' of Kid

(Here at the end of the month of April, Autism Awareness Month, I'm resharing a post from way back in 2019.  So much has changed.  My son and I have both grown and changed so much.  But the sentiment is of differences and acceptance still rings true.)

Having a kid with special needs made me learn early on how to choose my battles.  It also taught me a lot about defining a "new normal".  What made sense for other parents and their kids might not work for us.  It took me a while, but over time I got okay with that.

I also began coming to terms with what kind of mom I was, and even better, what kind of mom I was not. 

Not everybody gets us kid, but we've got each other.


In the beginning, I was all over all of the events having to do with autism.  The walks, the fundraisers, the awareness events.  And then I began realizing that my kid didn't enjoy them and neither did I.  As a matter of fact, I felt worse after trying to do them.  I began to wonder about who they benefited.  Now I'm not hating on the people that participate or the awareness they bring, but I think like all situations in life you have to look at what lifts you up and what doesn't. 

Then I kept trying to make my child participate in things that "typical" kids liked to do.  This was mostly a time with my first husband when my child was still a toddler, and we kept hoping against hope that he could be "normal".  A lot of tears and hurt feelings later, and we gave up on most of those dreams of normalcy.


My kid in a previous life, moshing his fool heart out.

And then somewhere along the lines something happened to me.  Maybe it was when I flew out of my cocoon after divorce and my son and I both emerged as some sort of reborn butterflies.  Maybe it was my second husband who loved us for being the weird creatures we were.  Maybe I just got too old to keep trying to be something I wasn't and didn't want that for my kid either.

I became a different kind of mom.

The kind of mom that took her kid to shows instead of the circus.  The kind of mom that let her kid like George Clinton instead of Raffi.  The kind of mom that could see what made her kid really happy.  It wasn't Barney.  It was falling asleep to The Beatles every night.
Enjoying a concert at home wearing one of his favorite tees.


I know I'm not alone.  There are lots of parents who know the value of exposing their kids to good music and starting them out young with it.  If you look at many of my past blog posts, you'll see many examples of being proud when my kid requested a song by The Indigo Girls or used the term "heavy metal".

I'm that kind of mom.

Later this month, E-Roc and I will be taking The Droid to see Abbey Road Live for the 3rd time.  It has become the one event every year that my son truly looks forward to.  When I ask him every year what he wants for Christmas, he has no answer for me.  But he remembers that Abbey Road will be coming in January.

Waiting for "The Beatles" to get here!

After two successful shows with Abbey Road, we also tried out the Punk Rock Picnic this past year at Tremont.  Not only did he have a great time, but my husband and I were glad that we were able to take him to Tremont Music Hall before it closed.

Checking out The Commonwealth at PRP.

We also made a big leap this past year by taking him to his first "big show" by going to see Earth, Wind and Fire at the Uptown Amphitheatre.  We didn't make it through the whole show, but it was still a victory and The Droid had a great time.

Enjoying disco hits with his Aunt Christie.

I'm thinking now about what the next big milestone show will be.  I've always wanted to take him to see some of the greats like James Taylor but I'd also like for him to see more small-scale local bands Hardsoul Poets. 

Who can we see next????

I know not everyone gets it.  But I'm glad I've become 'that kind' of mom.  I'm glad my son knows his dad will take him to Disney World and Carowinds, but I'll take him to hear some great music.  I'm glad that no matter what, through autism, divorce, and our weird version of normalcy, we'll always have that. 

Loving life at The Orange Peel in Asheville, NC.

(Abbey Road LIVE! performs several kid friendly matinee shows, but kids are also welcome at most of their nighttime performances with a parent.  They'll be at The Orange Peel, Visulite and Cat's Cradle this month.  Check them out!)
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