Book Pick: The Retail: A Novel

I picked up this book at the library with a lot of hope. First off, it looked self-published or from a small press, so I was intrigued by a little book that could. Second, I thought "heh, a book about retail life....who can't relate?"

Ummmm.....I was a little disappointed.

For one thing, the book is boring as hell. Young Christians saving the Big V until marriage? Snooze fest. I'm not saying that a novel can only be good if it's full of tragedy and pain, but a good one does require a little edge and how can I put this......reality, maybe? This book was so white and nerdy it made Weird Al look like a gang-banger.

It's not that I'm anti-Christian.....well.....maybe a little. But one part in this book really bothered me. The main character, Penn, (indulge yourself much, author?) is having a conversation with his supervisor in the store and discovers she's a lesbian. He pretty much gives her the whole love-the-sinner-hate-the-sin and who-am-I-to-judge speech, and after all that she actually tells him that she respects him all the more for it.

What the whaaaa?

I guess that's the problem with a lot of Christians today. They really do think they're doing us all a favor by loving us without judgment. How sweet and godly of them.

And don't even get me started on the roommate's rant about everything that was wrong with Fantasia. Yes, the Disney movie. "It's got racism, it's got nudity, it's got drunkenness, and it's got devil worship. Oh, and evolution."

Can't make this stuff up.

I'm sure this author is a super sweet and a stand-up guy, but since I get the feeling this book is largely autobiographical I wouldn't really care to hang out with him. To me, the main character came off like a pompous ass in Christian clothing. No thanks.

As for the retail life? It's actually fairly on-point. Unfortunately, the WWJD bit ruins it for me. Vaya con dios, Mr. D-D.

Reclaiming Your Childhood: Priceless

This story might take a minute to tell. Bear with me. When my sister and I were little girls, my mother took us to a large baptist church in town. Even as a child, I never remember feeling welcome there. But I do remember the lovely older couple that kept my Sunday School class. They gave us saltines and kool-aid, and I remember thinking they would be nice grandparents to have. At Christmastime, the Sunday School class was set to have a random gift exchange. Every child was supposed to bring a gift that could be exchanged with any other child.....no specific gift designations. I received the gift of an Avon 7 bead necklace which was very popular at the time. I loved it so much and was thrilled to have it! I was somewhere between 5 and 7 at the time. (Back in the 1970's and 80's, Avon was a cosmetic company that was also known for it's inexpensive jewelry. I couldn't find a price on what this necklace would have cost back then, but apparently there is ...

My Week with Rumor

My dog Rumor was an experiment. A trial offer. And all parties knew that going in. Except for maybe Rumor. Rumor was an outdoor country dog. His given name was Ruger (named after a firearm if you don't know, I didn't) which made sense for a dog raised in hunting country. He was a stray that came to live with a loving family at about the age of 1. He lived outdoors, slept in a garage crate at night, frolicked with an older dog pack and had a lovely life. We think he was about 4 years old. He had been neutered, had vet care and was by no means a "rescue". His dad offered Ruger to me on a give-it-a-try basis. He knew I wanted a dog. He told me Ruger would be sweet to me and also be my protector. He was right on both counts. He told me if it didn't work out, I could bring Ruger back to him and his wife. I could tell they were a little sad when they dropped him off. It made me glad to see that Ruger came from such ...

NYE for $200, Alex

Can we all just agree that New Year's Eve is the worst of the string of winter holidays? I would even go so far as saying it's THE WORST of all the holidays. I loved when Stanford Blatch defined a party as feeling very "forced festive". To me, most NYE parties feel that way. The idea that this is a big year-end blow-out and we'd all damn well better make it awesome! The reason I hate NYE is because it combines two of things I most hate about celebrations: cold weather and crowds. Plus it's during a time of year when everyone has already spent all their money. AND you usually have to the leave the house. ADDITIONALLY, you have to stay up late. It's a big F.U. from me on all this. I would dare say that some of my happiest New Year's memories have been spent at home in my pajamas with either my child, an S.O. or happily alone. I remember one unforgettable year of moving into a 3rd floor apartment on NYE. I rememb...

Becky's Greatest Hits Vol. II

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