Jacqueline Laurita: True Reality on Reality Television

I usually only watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey to make fun of the current scuffling by Teresa and Melissa, but yesterday I happened to catch a very brief and very real moment with Jacqueline Laurita and her son. I had read and heard that Jacqueline and her family were sharing and revealing their life with a child with autism, and I hoped that it would be real and authentic and not just a cutesy portrait of living with a special needs child. I was happy to see that this reality was, for once, very real. Jacqueline's child is still very young and the diagnosis is still very new, so her own struggle with it along with him is very evident.

I remember those days.

To say it was hard doesn't begin to cover it. You're reeling. You're confused. You're scared. And if you're like me, you're trying to prove to everyone, including yourself, that you can handle it. When I look back on those early years......the time before I knew there was autism and I thought I just had a "difficult" kid and the time after when I had a word to go with the issues......I sometimes I wonder how I got through it.

And even though these days are still a struggle and still require a good bit of reordering and rethinking, I do think it gets easier over time. You learn how to make it work. You learn how to give and get him what he needs. You learn how to take care of yourself. As another wise AU parent has said to me, you find "a new normal".

So if there was anything I could say to Jacqueline it would be to keep your chin up and to just keep doing your best. Parenthood doesn't come with instructions, and the parenting of a special needs child definitely doesn't. I would also want to thank her for being honest and true about the situation. It's not all sweet moments of discovery and learning breakthroughs. There is a lot of heartbreak and dirty messes along the way. You have the microphone right now, Jacqueline. Take it and give a true picture of autism to the folks out there who still don't know. You could be paving a new road both for the kids and for us parents.

And here is something I couldn't have heard enough of back then: you're doing a good job.....keep it up.....and it will all be okay. It will, Jacqueline. It really will.

Reclaiming Your Childhood: Priceless

This story might take a minute to tell. Bear with me. When my sister and I were little girls, my mother took us to a large baptist church in town. Even as a child, I never remember feeling welcome there. But I do remember the lovely older couple that kept my Sunday School class. They gave us saltines and kool-aid, and I remember thinking they would be nice grandparents to have. At Christmastime, the Sunday School class was set to have a random gift exchange. Every child was supposed to bring a gift that could be exchanged with any other child.....no specific gift designations. I received the gift of an Avon 7 bead necklace which was very popular at the time. I loved it so much and was thrilled to have it! I was somewhere between 5 and 7 at the time. (Back in the 1970's and 80's, Avon was a cosmetic company that was also known for it's inexpensive jewelry. I couldn't find a price on what this necklace would have cost back then, but apparently there is ...

My Week with Rumor

My dog Rumor was an experiment. A trial offer. And all parties knew that going in. Except for maybe Rumor. Rumor was an outdoor country dog. His given name was Ruger (named after a firearm if you don't know, I didn't) which made sense for a dog raised in hunting country. He was a stray that came to live with a loving family at about the age of 1. He lived outdoors, slept in a garage crate at night, frolicked with an older dog pack and had a lovely life. We think he was about 4 years old. He had been neutered, had vet care and was by no means a "rescue". His dad offered Ruger to me on a give-it-a-try basis. He knew I wanted a dog. He told me Ruger would be sweet to me and also be my protector. He was right on both counts. He told me if it didn't work out, I could bring Ruger back to him and his wife. I could tell they were a little sad when they dropped him off. It made me glad to see that Ruger came from such ...

NYE for $200, Alex

Can we all just agree that New Year's Eve is the worst of the string of winter holidays? I would even go so far as saying it's THE WORST of all the holidays. I loved when Stanford Blatch defined a party as feeling very "forced festive". To me, most NYE parties feel that way. The idea that this is a big year-end blow-out and we'd all damn well better make it awesome! The reason I hate NYE is because it combines two of things I most hate about celebrations: cold weather and crowds. Plus it's during a time of year when everyone has already spent all their money. AND you usually have to the leave the house. ADDITIONALLY, you have to stay up late. It's a big F.U. from me on all this. I would dare say that some of my happiest New Year's memories have been spent at home in my pajamas with either my child, an S.O. or happily alone. I remember one unforgettable year of moving into a 3rd floor apartment on NYE. I rememb...

Becky's Greatest Hits Vol. II

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