Becky's Greatest Hits Vol. II

 I never expected there would be a time when I was proud of my Baby Boy for recognizing the skyline of  Winston-Salem. Winston-Salem is not a big city.  It's home to a medical school and a few prestigious HBCU's.  It once had a thriving textile industry and furniture making reputation.  It even has a historic Moravian Community ! Still it was a town that never meant much to me.  Until my son started living just outside it in an adult group home.   That decision, made when he had just turned 20 came with a good bit of tears, fear and guilt.  But now as he approaches the age of 22, with the same happy smile he's had for his entire life, I know we did the right thing. Now he's happy to come home.  Happy to go to his dad's.  Happy to see his grandparents. And even happy to go back to "the camp house" as we call it.   And as we make our way up the interstate as soon as we hit those inbound spidery ramps to the city and he spots...

 I remember once talking to a man I was dating about how I wasn't over a relationship that went bad.  And maybe, just maybe, I still wasn't over two marriages that went bad.  But I explained my ability to keep going and forge through the pain by saying it was just something we all had to do.   "It's kinda like 'functional heartbreak' you know?" I mused.  "We just have to do it. We just keep going." "Functional heartbreak," he repeated.  "That sounds like grief." Did I mention that this guy happened to be a grief counselor?  And a damn good one?  So I tend to think he knew what he was talking about.   Isn't it funny?  Or maybe funny isn't the word.....ironic?  Silly?  Delusional even?  How often we are willing to hang our hearts out on the line for another punch?  And it's not just for romance either.  We do it when we make new friendships, give birth, take up causes.  There's probably no organ in m...

 George Michael.  Oh, George Michael.  His name incites something.  It stirs something.  It makes you feel some kind of way.  I know his name for sure does something for me.  It did back in the 80's and it still does now.   When I was a girl waaaay back in the 80's, I loved George with Wham!  He was sexy and fun and mysterious in a way I couldn't even explain or understand.  It was a time period in which we were all still grappling with how we felt about gay and straight, what it all meant and how it did or didn't affect us personally.  Like most girls, I was bummed when I found out George was gay.  Not because I cared or thought it was wrong, but because it meant I (a girl light years away and twelve years younger) would never have a chance with him.  Disappointment! His solo record, Faith, came out in October 1987.  I was twelve and I got it for Christmas on cassette that year.  I could have watched that s...

 Even though I've been grappling with severe back and leg pain for over 2 months now, I still did not want to admit that I needed help.  Even if I could barely stand.  Even if I could barely walk.  And I especially felt it true when I walked into my office with the help of a walking stick and one of my coworkers quickly named me " Gandalf the Grey" .   All I can say is this to the 27 year-old kiddo, one day you're gonna be my age.  I hope you either take better care of yourself or wish and dream that you don't have this problem.  But when my friend/partner in crime gave me this walking stick I said "eh sure......thanks, dude" and decided I'd used it in front of him to humor him. Until I realized how much it really did help me.  AND  how much I truly did need it.  That's the thing about support.......sometimes it arrives from surprising sources and just in the nick of time.  Now I'm leaning on it, keeping it close by and dependi...

 I will be the first to say that I'm not the one to talk about immigration.  All I can talk about are feelings and people.  Those things, I think and know, I'm an expert on.   I keep my company's front lobby television feed on the national CBS News channel.  That channel regularly runs a commercial for a CBS documentary about the immigration "crisis" in New York City and it features a man.   The man is welcoming people off a bus.  He talks to each person and makes a point of putting a hand on their shoulders or their backs.  One can tell that he is trying to make them feel welcome, and above all, safe.   He looks at a man walking off a bus carrying a toddler.  It looks to me like he is saying "hi baby" as he reaches out and touches the child.  (I watch the video more closely and see that he is greeting the child in Spanish and not saying "hi baby" precisely but the sentiment is the same.)  He also steps onto the ...

 I turned 49 this year. And then suddenly I seemed to fall apart. Now I have more doc appointments than I have dinner dates.  Now I show up early at medical professional suites to drop off or pick up tools and medications.  Now I check and update "My Chart" every day.  Now I think about my insurance deductible. Now I think everything has changed.   I walk into my orthopedic office and I compare my limp and hobble to everyone else's.  Well surely, I think, I'm walking better than they are. I tell myself I don't need any sort of ambulatory device and that my problem is temporary as I lean on a rail, a step, a stump.....whatever can give me support as I try my hardest to stand for as long as I can.   I drag into my pulmonary appointments, which have nothing to do with my orthopedic problems by the way, and wonder if I'll be pulling an oxygen tank behind me one day like so many of the patients I see around me.   I try to make small talk...

 The deaths of two local heroes in my community have really got me thinking.  They were the epitome of "regular guys" doing great things and bringing a lot of happiness to others.  They weren't politicians or beat cops or firefighters.  They weren't curing cancer or scaling Everest.  They were guys bringing joy and love to every day life.  The kind of men you could sit and chat with and learn something from while you were doing it.  They were pure and honest and real.  Dan Wade is credited for making huge moves with bringing craft beer culture to Charlotte.  He was part owner and brewmaster for Wooden Robot who was known for his zeal for life, dedication to his business and was described by friends and customers as "pure joy".   When he died suddenly and tragically, he left behind a wife, a newborn son and a wealth of friends and family who loved and respected him. But he also leaves successful businesses and a model for going forwa...

  Crying Crying never did nobody no good, no how That's why I don't cry That's why I don't cry Laughing Laughing sometimes does somebody some good somehow That's why I'm laughing now That's why I'm laughing now Loving Loving never did me no good, no how, no how That's why I can't love you now That's why I can't love you now Lying Lying never did nobody no good, no how, no how So why am I lying now? So why am I lying now? So why am I lying now?

  Beautiful people, love, sports, young romance.....what's not to love?   Never been more ready for a Super Bowl!

 The death of Toby Keith leaves me, like so many events at my age, with mixed emotions.   At only 62, he feels like an older contemporary now.  But back in college when I came to adore Toby, he was a sexy, older singer that made me feel woo'd and charmed when he sang about wishing he was a cowboy.  He was a country boy that seemed both innocent and world-weary with dreamy eyes and a deep vibrato.  I just knew that his hands were rough from work but his heart was warm.  It had to be.  On "He Ain't Worth Missing" he gave us girls hope for the next terrible boy that would only break our hearts again.  And boy, were we ready for it!  He made us want to give that good friend a try.....the boy we kept pushing to the waiting line.  Maybe he could be the one! Later as an adult and a divorcee, his lament of a lost marriage in "Who's That Man" cut me right to the quick.  Even though Toby was married to his wife, Tricia, since the 80's he...