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The Ultimate Turning 40 Milestone: The First Mammogram

When I was a kid, age 40 seemed like such a long way away.  When you were forty, you were really old.  You had to think about life insurance and mortgages and putting kids in braces and all manner of things that really are not fun.  I didn't really know then about how your health changes.  About how you may have to think about wearing readers and how you can't quite, uh bend, like you used to.  I also began thinking about something I had been dreading but knew I needed to do: have my first mammogram procedure.

Me, at the start of my fabulous, busy day!
 
So never being one to keep things simple, I decided it wouldn't be good enough to just go and have a mammogram.  Aw, heeeeelllll, no.  I would schedule my yearly dental cleaning, my yearly pap and my first mammogram.  If I had thrown in a trip to the DMV, it would have been a full day of all awesome things in life!

Sisterly advice with a side of salad.
 
So even though it's not high on my list of favorites, I knock the dental cleaning out first.  Then there's time for lunch with my big sister who squares me away on the step-by-step process of what I'm about to do right down to the fact that you have to wipe the deodorant from your armpits before you begin.  (I had no idea!)  She reassures me and reminds me that it is important.  Unfortunately, we do have a family history of cancer.  It's a small occurrence, but it is there.  We also talk about how much we love the midwife that we both share.  I think this is key, girls.  You really should have a healthcare professional that you respect and have a good relationship with.  This makes these milestones a little easier to tackle!

How cute are these?
 
And of course there's time for a little shopping!  I decided what would make this a great day and not just "the day I had my first mammogram" would be to incorporate some fun into it! 
 
How scary could this machine be?

So then I finally get to the appointment.  And, are you kidding me, this took like ten minutes?  Seriously.  I'm taken into a small but quiet room by a very gentle and soft-spoken lady technician.  She gives me button-front hospital shirt and asks some routine questions about my gynecological history.  She then takes me over to the machine and talks to me step-by-step through each maneuver.  She gently places me where I need to be and places each of my breasts in the machine.  She takes 2 images of each breast so that's 4 squeezes altogether.  Yes, it's uncomfortable, but no, I would not call it pain.  Afterward, my midwife praises me for being so proactive and to spread the word to my friends that it's not as bad as they think. 

Celebratory drinks were in order.
After such a day, my husband took me out for a date night.  To be honest, the teeth cleaning and being ignored by a bitchy Belk sales lady (story for another time) was more annoying than the mammogram! 

Me at the end of my day......and not too shabby.  Or so I hear!
 
So here I am.  Forty.  A grown-up.  Paying taxes and life insurance premiums.  And getting mammograms.  And it feels pretty good.  What a world we live in....seriously!  We have health care at our finger tips.  A mobile mammography truck comes to my work place.  Maybe I'll try that next year.  But seriously girls, don't let squeamish tendencies or unfounded fear keep you from taking care of your health.  Honestly?  The yearly pap is more uncomfortable than the mammo!  And don't forget, I luuuuurve my midwife!  She's the longest-running female relationship I've ever had.  (Har, har.)  But seriously, if you're 40 or you have risk factors, get it done.  You'll feel relieved in the end, and maybe your hubby will take you out for drinks!
 
 
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Anonymous said…
This was awesoooommeee. I couldn't stop laughing and still have tears in my eyes. Getting older is definitely not the most fun thing in the world but why not have some fun and joke alittle about the uncomfortable things you have to do in life. It sure will make them go by a little easier. Love ya sis!!!!
March 26, 2015 at 8:18 AM
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