Baby Reindeer: The One Billionth Hot Take

Hoo boy. Baby Reindeer. It's a tough one. It left me feeling heartbroken, angry, confused and with an even more heightened degree of how scary the world of interpersonal relationships can be.

I could say a lot about this, but there are several articles by Vogue, Esquire and others that unpack it way better than me. Check those out.

I will say this though.....all through the series I couldn't help wondering if the stalking situation would have been different if Martha were thinner, younger and more attractive. And before you judge me, give it some thought and do some more reading. And I also know there are tons of pieces of media about a femme fatale, sexy stalker type of woman who is bad news. I get it.

The one very painful thing that Baby Reindeer made me think about is how I have handled the support role to friends and family that have been sexually assaulted. I wondered if I had said the right things, been kind enough, been the person those survivors needed me to be.

The only truth I could get to was that I did the best with what I knew and what I could give. And I think that's all most of us can do. We can read books, go to support groups, listen, give hugs, sit in silence.....but the fact is, we're all handling trauma as expertly as our hearts and brains let us. And the truth is, sometimes that ain't great. But it's all we've got. Were our brains, hearts and bodies built for trauma? From an evolutionary sense, maybe. From a humanistic sense, absolutely not.

There are definitely about a million trigger warnings here. I would almost recommend skipping the last 15 minutes of the 4th episode and to simply read about it. While the assault and the scene are handled and filmed well, it's still extremely difficult to watch.

I hate to say what I'm about to say. I absolutely hate it. I think we're generally better programed to see women sexually assaulted instead of men. It hurts, it's brutal and it's hard to watch. But it's not as shocking. That's all I'll say on that.

Should we all be watching this sort of thing to better educate ourselves and understand sexual trauma? Or should we protect our hearts and brains as much as we can? Who am I to say? I can say the images are hard to shake.....kind of like when someone you love tells you of their own abuse and assault. I know it can stay with you.....even traumatize you to an extent. And later, while you're glad you know, you also wish you didn't.

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