It's Friday afternoon in my office. It's 12:24 pm and it's quiet. Eerily quiet. I sit down with my lunch and enjoy a blissful 22 minutes before the phone rings again. That's probably a record. And it's wonderful.
All of my coworkers are sitting quietly at their desks too. It's the rare event that we're all eating lunch at the same time. But today was a special occasion in which management sprang for our meals, so we're all tucking into the gorgeous white Styrofoam boxes our summer intern has brought back for us. We're spread out all over the wide expanse of our 1 floor office/showroom/ work place. We don't talk. We just eat. Quietly. And it is heavenly.
First off, anybody that has ever had a job knows the difference in how you spend your time if you're salaried or hourly. If you're a salaried employee you almost always work more than 40 hours. You rarely take lunch and if you do, it's never for the full hour. On the other hand, if you're an hourly employee you will not clock back in until you absolutely HAVE TO. You will not give the man one more thing that doesn't belong to him and hate him every time you have to hit that clock. (Maybe that's why forcing hourly employees to eat together is actually pretty stupid. It's like a half-hour hate session of The Man. Seems like they'd learn that in those executive seminars. Oh, well. I digress.)
When I first started at my job a little over 6 months ago, I felt sad when I realized none of my coworkers ate lunch together. Nobody buddied up to go out for a quick bite, and we certainly didn't all gather in the conference room for take-out. I felt worried that maybe I had joined yet another dysfunctional workforce. And then I realized the secret my coworkers were onto that no one else had ever figured out in any of my other awful work environments: the joy of the quiet solo lunch.
I have worked in a few places where friendship and quality time were either literally forced upon me in the form of outings, ice breakers and team building (yech) or guiltily encouraged upon me in the form of parties and celebrations. I never enjoyed any of them because it was so clear that absolutely NO ONE wanted to take part in them. I tried every which way to get out of them and then was thrilled when I left corporate life and was no longer required to participate as a contingency of employment.
I even had a few jobs where friendship was kind of hinted at but not very real. The kind of place where everyone would sit together for a meal but then join in on gossip against the first dope that left the table.
Yeah, that kind of place.
So walking into a place where no one forces friendship or really even tries to pursue it was a bit of a shock to my system.
"We don't celebrate birthdays here? No. I don't even know Joe's birthday. And I've worked with him for about 6 years. Maybe 8. I don't remember. Is Joe married? Who knows. I've heard him mention somebody named Cindy. Could be."
It's an exaggeration, but not by much.
I thought this type of environment was going to depress me, but in actuality it has been rather fantastic. I walk back and talk to my buddy in the shop because I want to not because corporate made us play kickball on the rooftop (actually happened) together. I know about my other buddy's mom because I asked him about her not because a group email encouraged me to pray for her. I know as much or as little about people that I want to because I want to. And I share as much or as little as I'm comfortable sharing. I'm not sitting less than a foot away from someone else in a cubicle listening to her yell at her husband for spending money on gum (again, really did happen).
At this work place, my fellow employees actually seem pretty normal. They don't bring their problems to work. They don't pick fights. They don't start beefs. They don't squabble. As a matter of fact, I've been amazed at how quickly people speak their minds and how hastily issues are settled. So maybe they have the right idea about lunch and work camaraderie in general. A little is good, too much is bad but only you can decide how much. Heh.
I'm at my quiet desk. Eating my lunch alone. And I'm not sad. This short little quiet respite will enable me to kick it back into high gear when the phone is ringing off the hook in 22 minutes, customers are bum-rushing the door and I'm up to my ears in filing and warranties. Yeah. This quiet sad lunch is for me. And it's quite wonderful. Thanks, coworkers, for stepping back and knowing what I need is the same thing you need too.
All of my coworkers are sitting quietly at their desks too. It's the rare event that we're all eating lunch at the same time. But today was a special occasion in which management sprang for our meals, so we're all tucking into the gorgeous white Styrofoam boxes our summer intern has brought back for us. We're spread out all over the wide expanse of our 1 floor office/showroom/ work place. We don't talk. We just eat. Quietly. And it is heavenly.
First off, anybody that has ever had a job knows the difference in how you spend your time if you're salaried or hourly. If you're a salaried employee you almost always work more than 40 hours. You rarely take lunch and if you do, it's never for the full hour. On the other hand, if you're an hourly employee you will not clock back in until you absolutely HAVE TO. You will not give the man one more thing that doesn't belong to him and hate him every time you have to hit that clock. (Maybe that's why forcing hourly employees to eat together is actually pretty stupid. It's like a half-hour hate session of The Man. Seems like they'd learn that in those executive seminars. Oh, well. I digress.)
When I first started at my job a little over 6 months ago, I felt sad when I realized none of my coworkers ate lunch together. Nobody buddied up to go out for a quick bite, and we certainly didn't all gather in the conference room for take-out. I felt worried that maybe I had joined yet another dysfunctional workforce. And then I realized the secret my coworkers were onto that no one else had ever figured out in any of my other awful work environments: the joy of the quiet solo lunch.
I have worked in a few places where friendship and quality time were either literally forced upon me in the form of outings, ice breakers and team building (yech) or guiltily encouraged upon me in the form of parties and celebrations. I never enjoyed any of them because it was so clear that absolutely NO ONE wanted to take part in them. I tried every which way to get out of them and then was thrilled when I left corporate life and was no longer required to participate as a contingency of employment.
I even had a few jobs where friendship was kind of hinted at but not very real. The kind of place where everyone would sit together for a meal but then join in on gossip against the first dope that left the table.
Yeah, that kind of place.
So walking into a place where no one forces friendship or really even tries to pursue it was a bit of a shock to my system.
"We don't celebrate birthdays here? No. I don't even know Joe's birthday. And I've worked with him for about 6 years. Maybe 8. I don't remember. Is Joe married? Who knows. I've heard him mention somebody named Cindy. Could be."
It's an exaggeration, but not by much.
I thought this type of environment was going to depress me, but in actuality it has been rather fantastic. I walk back and talk to my buddy in the shop because I want to not because corporate made us play kickball on the rooftop (actually happened) together. I know about my other buddy's mom because I asked him about her not because a group email encouraged me to pray for her. I know as much or as little about people that I want to because I want to. And I share as much or as little as I'm comfortable sharing. I'm not sitting less than a foot away from someone else in a cubicle listening to her yell at her husband for spending money on gum (again, really did happen).
At this work place, my fellow employees actually seem pretty normal. They don't bring their problems to work. They don't pick fights. They don't start beefs. They don't squabble. As a matter of fact, I've been amazed at how quickly people speak their minds and how hastily issues are settled. So maybe they have the right idea about lunch and work camaraderie in general. A little is good, too much is bad but only you can decide how much. Heh.
I'm at my quiet desk. Eating my lunch alone. And I'm not sad. This short little quiet respite will enable me to kick it back into high gear when the phone is ringing off the hook in 22 minutes, customers are bum-rushing the door and I'm up to my ears in filing and warranties. Yeah. This quiet sad lunch is for me. And it's quite wonderful. Thanks, coworkers, for stepping back and knowing what I need is the same thing you need too.