I hadn't planned to write about poverty this morning until I read this piece by my friend which lead me to this piece by a guy I don't know but who seems pretty damn savvy.
It got me to thinking about parts of my childhood that I don't like to think about now, parts of my adulthood that I'm still ashamed of and parts of my adulthood that I'm still trying to get through.
When I was in college, I remember learning about conditional poverty. That's basically a situation in which you feel poor, but you're really not. Like not having enough change to do laundry but having 2 bucks you can spend on a burrito. Or not having the money to buy your expensive new psychology textbook but knowing you can always call home if you need to.
I feel embarrassed and fortunate about the many levels of poverty I've experienced over my life. It would be enough to make a writer like John Scalzi say "give me a break" and possibly Barbara Ehrenreich to tell me I should thank my lucky stars. It would make my friends say "bless her" and my boyfriends old workmates to say "quit yer crying!"
So I decided to compile my own list, one that I hope sheds my small light on this ongoing class and financial crisis in our sweet lil country. Because if there's anything that Americans can prove it's that there is no black and white. No yes and no. No absolute right and no absolute left. We at war with ourselves and at war with each other for something we mostly don't want to face. And it will never get better as long as all of us good people keep silent.
Being Rich vs. Being Poor (and all stages in between)
Being rich is thinking everyone has the money you have to spend on one evening of going out to dinner.
Being rich is thinking $50 is a cheap meal.
Being rich is not understanding why every mother doesn't stay home with their kids like you do.
Being poor is hoping against hope every winter that your boyfriend doesn't get sick because you just don't know how you will pay for him to see a doctor.
Being poor is considering getting married just so your boyfriend can be on your health insurance.
Being poor is adding up your grocery tally in your head as you shop through Wal-Mart.
Being poor is buying all of your clothes at Wal-Mart but hoping your coworkers don't notice.
Being rich is having a car that runs well every day.
Being poor is crying when you get an unexpected bill.
Being rich is cussing when you get an unexpected bill.
Being rich is having a company that pays for your gas, your car and health insurance and providing you with so much extra income that it's nothing to waste a whole paycheck on a weekend getaway.
Being rich is not knowing what your husband makes because you don't have to know.
Being poor is knowing exactly what your boyfriend brings home.
Being poor is getting to work while it's still dark because that extra quarter hour will make a lot of difference in your take-home pay.
Being poor is hoping against hope that your ex will pay for your kid's $128 glasses.
Being poor is paying for the glasses and eating crackers for lunch for the next 2 weeks.
Being poor is eating out at Wendy's for a treat.
Being rich is buying a German-made status label car because you can.
Being poor is driving that car years later and not being able to afford to get its superfluous sunroof fixed.
Being rich is having a car with a sunroof.
Being poor is never having the clothes the cool kids wore in school.
Being poor is being ashamed of the mobile home you live in, no matter how hard your parents work.
Being poor is not being able to go on the class trip to Washington, DC.
Being poor is knowing every kid you're friends with has more than you.
Being poor is participating in their birthday parties with jealousy and dread.
Being poor is asking your ex to have full custody because you know you will never be able to provide for your kid like he can.
Being poor is driving across that big bridge every week to where the big houses are.
Being rich is buying your kid birthday presents and Christmas presents.
Being rich is buying your own house.
Being poor is needing your parents' help to do it.
Being rich is having parents who can help you.
Being poor is crying when anything goes wrong with your mortgage loan.
Being rich is contributing to the office fund for the guy in your office who's needy.
Being poor is deciding which event you can make for your kid when that gas is just too high to drive across 2 counties 3 times in one week.
Being poor is putting off those new work shoes just one more week.
Being poor is counting out change in the morning.
Being poor is begging for more hours to work and working when everyone else is at home.
Being rich is not looking at the tags.
Being rich is giving a gift for every occasion.
Being rich is taking your kid to the doctor at every symptom.
Being poor is buying the store-brand children's fever reducer.
Being rich is trying to be humble without losing who you are.
Being rich is losing who you are without even knowing it.
Being poor is trying not to show it.
Being poor is keeping your head up.
Being rich is keeping up appearances.
Being poor is keeping up.
(If I have a college degree, a good job and am about to buy a house and I know what all this means, then imagine what it means to others in lesser circumstances. The people of our country can't and shouldn't want our way of life to go on as it is. Stepping off my soapbox now.......)
It got me to thinking about parts of my childhood that I don't like to think about now, parts of my adulthood that I'm still ashamed of and parts of my adulthood that I'm still trying to get through.
When I was in college, I remember learning about conditional poverty. That's basically a situation in which you feel poor, but you're really not. Like not having enough change to do laundry but having 2 bucks you can spend on a burrito. Or not having the money to buy your expensive new psychology textbook but knowing you can always call home if you need to.
I feel embarrassed and fortunate about the many levels of poverty I've experienced over my life. It would be enough to make a writer like John Scalzi say "give me a break" and possibly Barbara Ehrenreich to tell me I should thank my lucky stars. It would make my friends say "bless her" and my boyfriends old workmates to say "quit yer crying!"
So I decided to compile my own list, one that I hope sheds my small light on this ongoing class and financial crisis in our sweet lil country. Because if there's anything that Americans can prove it's that there is no black and white. No yes and no. No absolute right and no absolute left. We at war with ourselves and at war with each other for something we mostly don't want to face. And it will never get better as long as all of us good people keep silent.
Being Rich vs. Being Poor (and all stages in between)
Being rich is thinking everyone has the money you have to spend on one evening of going out to dinner.
Being rich is thinking $50 is a cheap meal.
Being rich is not understanding why every mother doesn't stay home with their kids like you do.
Being poor is hoping against hope every winter that your boyfriend doesn't get sick because you just don't know how you will pay for him to see a doctor.
Being poor is considering getting married just so your boyfriend can be on your health insurance.
Being poor is adding up your grocery tally in your head as you shop through Wal-Mart.
Being poor is buying all of your clothes at Wal-Mart but hoping your coworkers don't notice.
Being rich is having a car that runs well every day.
Being poor is crying when you get an unexpected bill.
Being rich is cussing when you get an unexpected bill.
Being rich is having a company that pays for your gas, your car and health insurance and providing you with so much extra income that it's nothing to waste a whole paycheck on a weekend getaway.
Being rich is not knowing what your husband makes because you don't have to know.
Being poor is knowing exactly what your boyfriend brings home.
Being poor is getting to work while it's still dark because that extra quarter hour will make a lot of difference in your take-home pay.
Being poor is hoping against hope that your ex will pay for your kid's $128 glasses.
Being poor is paying for the glasses and eating crackers for lunch for the next 2 weeks.
Being poor is eating out at Wendy's for a treat.
Being rich is buying a German-made status label car because you can.
Being poor is driving that car years later and not being able to afford to get its superfluous sunroof fixed.
Being rich is having a car with a sunroof.
Being poor is never having the clothes the cool kids wore in school.
Being poor is being ashamed of the mobile home you live in, no matter how hard your parents work.
Being poor is not being able to go on the class trip to Washington, DC.
Being poor is knowing every kid you're friends with has more than you.
Being poor is participating in their birthday parties with jealousy and dread.
Being poor is asking your ex to have full custody because you know you will never be able to provide for your kid like he can.
Being poor is driving across that big bridge every week to where the big houses are.
Being rich is buying your kid birthday presents and Christmas presents.
Being rich is buying your own house.
Being poor is needing your parents' help to do it.
Being rich is having parents who can help you.
Being poor is crying when anything goes wrong with your mortgage loan.
Being rich is contributing to the office fund for the guy in your office who's needy.
Being poor is deciding which event you can make for your kid when that gas is just too high to drive across 2 counties 3 times in one week.
Being poor is putting off those new work shoes just one more week.
Being poor is counting out change in the morning.
Being poor is begging for more hours to work and working when everyone else is at home.
Being rich is not looking at the tags.
Being rich is giving a gift for every occasion.
Being rich is taking your kid to the doctor at every symptom.
Being poor is buying the store-brand children's fever reducer.
Being rich is trying to be humble without losing who you are.
Being rich is losing who you are without even knowing it.
Being poor is trying not to show it.
Being poor is keeping your head up.
Being rich is keeping up appearances.
Being poor is keeping up.
(If I have a college degree, a good job and am about to buy a house and I know what all this means, then imagine what it means to others in lesser circumstances. The people of our country can't and shouldn't want our way of life to go on as it is. Stepping off my soapbox now.......)
Comments
I watch the Daily Show and "know" that thinking. I hear my in-laws complain that they are having to go back to work because his pension got cut. They've already sold (some) stock and 2 of their 7 timeshares. They're "only" platinum status now so we can't be disappointed if we don't get the presidential suite for spring break.
It disgusts me, really. We stopped going to visit them for Spring Break because even the 1 bedroom in their winter house, a trailer in a retirement community, was too much to take. Instead we camp on an island off the beach where we don't have to listen to the latest edition of who's controlling grandma's money.
I think I resemble "Being rich is trying to be humble without losing who you are." I make choices that fall on both sides of this list. I consider myself rich not because I have a (mortgaged) roof over my head, but because I have a family in my home. I consider myself rich with the wisdom that clothes from Goodwill are a better value than their higher priced peer clothes because at the end of the day they are just as stained and just as grown out of.
Maybe I'm just kidding myself. I am not rich by material measures, by by poverty standards I'm incredibly blessed. I came from poverty, I remember singing "I'm free" as I danced through the lunch line while being teased for my highwaters. I know the struggle and I know the spoils. I am glad I am where I am and refuse to hear those with more claim "no fair" when they have never tasted government cheese or worn Izik Mizrahi for Target- bought full price. (I only buy on clearance.)
Being rich is being blind to the struggle of the poor.