Autism Awareness Part II

Today is Autism Awareness Day.

I have been thinking a lot lately about my relationship to Little Boy compared to what other parents have with their kids. This is a very dangerous and slippery slope for parents of kids with special needs.

There are a lot of things to envy of parents with typical kids. They show you all the things you miss out on with your own child. I have made my peace with a good bit of that, but I have realized lately one particular thing I would love to have with Little Boy: a conversation.

Don't get me wrong.....I am SO glad that Little Boy is verbal. I am very aware of the many parents of AU kids who would just love to hear their kids speak......just once.

But sometimes I long for having a true conversation with Little Boy......not just a back and forth repeating of phrases between him and me. I would love to ask him questions and get true responses from him. I would love to really be able to teach him lessons and share things through talking and not just repeating the same steps in the process of learning.

I was recently sharing with E-Roc a situation a friend of mine was facing with her little girl. I told him that I thought I would have been a good mother to a typical child. I wonder all the time what I would have been like with a different kind of kid, even though it makes me guilty to think about it. He told me he thought I was a good mother already. I hope that's true.

One quality I have always been happy to see in Little Boy is his genuine sweet nature. I went in for my yearly visit to my midwife the other day, and of course she asked me about this boy that she delivered nearly nine years ago (!) now. I told her that he still was a sweet baby in so many ways. And whether I'm trying to keep him young and small is not up for debate and question today.....I'm grateful for my sweet boy.

So I guess I have to be happy for those things in him I love and not worry or think so much about what we don't have. And since I can't read his mind or know his thoughts as well as I'd like, I am hoping that Little Boy takes me for the good stuff too and overlooks the things I don't have. I guess that's all any kid or parent can hope for......

Reclaiming Your Childhood: Priceless

This story might take a minute to tell. Bear with me. When my sister and I were little girls, my mother took us to a large baptist church in town. Even as a child, I never remember feeling welcome there. But I do remember the lovely older couple that kept my Sunday School class. They gave us saltines and kool-aid, and I remember thinking they would be nice grandparents to have. At Christmastime, the Sunday School class was set to have a random gift exchange. Every child was supposed to bring a gift that could be exchanged with any other child.....no specific gift designations. I received the gift of an Avon 7 bead necklace which was very popular at the time. I loved it so much and was thrilled to have it! I was somewhere between 5 and 7 at the time. (Back in the 1970's and 80's, Avon was a cosmetic company that was also known for it's inexpensive jewelry. I couldn't find a price on what this necklace would have cost back then, but apparently there is ...

My Week with Rumor

My dog Rumor was an experiment. A trial offer. And all parties knew that going in. Except for maybe Rumor. Rumor was an outdoor country dog. His given name was Ruger (named after a firearm if you don't know, I didn't) which made sense for a dog raised in hunting country. He was a stray that came to live with a loving family at about the age of 1. He lived outdoors, slept in a garage crate at night, frolicked with an older dog pack and had a lovely life. We think he was about 4 years old. He had been neutered, had vet care and was by no means a "rescue". His dad offered Ruger to me on a give-it-a-try basis. He knew I wanted a dog. He told me Ruger would be sweet to me and also be my protector. He was right on both counts. He told me if it didn't work out, I could bring Ruger back to him and his wife. I could tell they were a little sad when they dropped him off. It made me glad to see that Ruger came from such ...

NYE for $200, Alex

Can we all just agree that New Year's Eve is the worst of the string of winter holidays? I would even go so far as saying it's THE WORST of all the holidays. I loved when Stanford Blatch defined a party as feeling very "forced festive". To me, most NYE parties feel that way. The idea that this is a big year-end blow-out and we'd all damn well better make it awesome! The reason I hate NYE is because it combines two of things I most hate about celebrations: cold weather and crowds. Plus it's during a time of year when everyone has already spent all their money. AND you usually have to the leave the house. ADDITIONALLY, you have to stay up late. It's a big F.U. from me on all this. I would dare say that some of my happiest New Year's memories have been spent at home in my pajamas with either my child, an S.O. or happily alone. I remember one unforgettable year of moving into a 3rd floor apartment on NYE. I rememb...

Becky's Greatest Hits Vol. II

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