The debate on Bob and Sheri got especially heated this morning, and I thought it was gggrreeat!!!!
It wasn't really a new argument....the same old who has it tougher working moms vs. stay at home moms. I didn't get on the air, but did call in to put my check mark in Sheri's column. That's why it's great having a blog......I'll just speak my mind here!
Argument 1
I was a SAHM for 7 years with Little Boy. It was fantastic! I was able to see him off to school every morning and pick him up every day. I had time to spend on my home, my yard, personal friendships, yoga classes, volunteering and even furthered my education. While Little Boy was at school and husband was at work, I did all my chores and commitments and settled down in the evenings to enjoy my family. I was given money by my husband, and because he had a good job I never sweated how the bills would be paid.
Argument 2
I was a SAHM for 7 years with Little Boy. It was really hard. I spent A LOT of time doing work and not getting paid like helping at my son's school and leading a support group for parents of special needs children. I ran myself ragged for everyone around me because I was the one who had time to do it. I never had a day off. The weekends were just like the weekdays sometimes. I had money that I had to ask for from my husband. I felt like nothing was mine. I was lonely. I watched way too much daytime and childrens television. I felt like working moms were either jealous of me or couldn't stand me.
Argument 3
I have been a working mom now for over a year. It's great! I make my own money and my own decisions. I feel like I'm growing and have something to offer with each new task I learn at my job. I enjoy having coworkers and getting dressed in nice clothes for work every day. I value the time I have with Little Boy even more and actually look forward to the weekends. I don't feel like my only worth is how well my family is dressed or how clean my house is. I feel proud of myself for all I do and how well I can support myself. Every paycheck deposited feels like a personal victory.
Argument 4
I have been a working mom now for over a year. It is really tough. I constantly feel guilty. Am I spending enough time with Little Boy? How can I make time for PTO? Does even E-Roc get enough of my attention? I am constantly tired. I run myself ragged to get my work done and please my superiors and coworkers. I run myself ragged to take care of my son and be a good girlfriend. I use every moment I have of free time for errands, cleaning, cooking and have less time to think, dream and write. AND I work 30 hours per week! Imagine if I worked 40 plus! I second-guess many decisions and fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow every night.
Now was DJ Lance Rock would say, let's "break it down"......
* As one male caller pointed out on the air today, the success or failure of both sets of women can be quickly linked to their male cohort. Agreed. I have been lucky to have support in both the relationships I've been in for both my roles. That has made all the difference.
* I don't think the dependence I had on my husband during my time as a SAHM was healthy. I needed him for too much: financial stability, emotional support, child care respite, and more. It may have been his job to give it or I may have been asking for too much. At any rate, I don't think it was good for him or me when I look back on it.
* I have always tried to support my sisters on both sides of this fence. I don't feel like they have always supported me.....then or now. They might feel the same way. I will say that I fully understand better now what some of my working friends were feeling way back when I wasn't working. I get it now, girls. Touche. But I do hate the constant bickering and martyring. It does none of us a service and only further divides.
* Raising my son has been invaluable both when I didn't work and now that I do. However, a lot can be said for actually earning a wage for what a person does. Enough said.
* I don't regret one bit of the time I didn't work and didn't earn a thing. From birth to age 7 my kid was my job, my goal, my life and my every concern. I will never have to look back and be sad that I didn't have that time with him. Love me or hate me for that, working moms, but I was lucky and fortunate for those years.
The arguments and debate could go on and on. Does it ever change? Does it ever get us anywhere? Did this great radio debate this morning bridge any gaps in the least?
Oh, what is the answer for us all?????
Only you know, dear girls. Only you know what works and what doesn't. Only you know what feels right and where your heart is. Don't let Sheri on the radio or Gloria Steinem or The President of the PTO or your own mom tell you what to do or think. You know what's best. Just go out there and do that best at whatever it is you're doing.
Your kids, for either choice, will love you for it. This I know.
It wasn't really a new argument....the same old who has it tougher working moms vs. stay at home moms. I didn't get on the air, but did call in to put my check mark in Sheri's column. That's why it's great having a blog......I'll just speak my mind here!
Argument 1
I was a SAHM for 7 years with Little Boy. It was fantastic! I was able to see him off to school every morning and pick him up every day. I had time to spend on my home, my yard, personal friendships, yoga classes, volunteering and even furthered my education. While Little Boy was at school and husband was at work, I did all my chores and commitments and settled down in the evenings to enjoy my family. I was given money by my husband, and because he had a good job I never sweated how the bills would be paid.
Argument 2
I was a SAHM for 7 years with Little Boy. It was really hard. I spent A LOT of time doing work and not getting paid like helping at my son's school and leading a support group for parents of special needs children. I ran myself ragged for everyone around me because I was the one who had time to do it. I never had a day off. The weekends were just like the weekdays sometimes. I had money that I had to ask for from my husband. I felt like nothing was mine. I was lonely. I watched way too much daytime and childrens television. I felt like working moms were either jealous of me or couldn't stand me.
Argument 3
I have been a working mom now for over a year. It's great! I make my own money and my own decisions. I feel like I'm growing and have something to offer with each new task I learn at my job. I enjoy having coworkers and getting dressed in nice clothes for work every day. I value the time I have with Little Boy even more and actually look forward to the weekends. I don't feel like my only worth is how well my family is dressed or how clean my house is. I feel proud of myself for all I do and how well I can support myself. Every paycheck deposited feels like a personal victory.
Argument 4
I have been a working mom now for over a year. It is really tough. I constantly feel guilty. Am I spending enough time with Little Boy? How can I make time for PTO? Does even E-Roc get enough of my attention? I am constantly tired. I run myself ragged to get my work done and please my superiors and coworkers. I run myself ragged to take care of my son and be a good girlfriend. I use every moment I have of free time for errands, cleaning, cooking and have less time to think, dream and write. AND I work 30 hours per week! Imagine if I worked 40 plus! I second-guess many decisions and fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow every night.
Now was DJ Lance Rock would say, let's "break it down"......
* As one male caller pointed out on the air today, the success or failure of both sets of women can be quickly linked to their male cohort. Agreed. I have been lucky to have support in both the relationships I've been in for both my roles. That has made all the difference.
* I don't think the dependence I had on my husband during my time as a SAHM was healthy. I needed him for too much: financial stability, emotional support, child care respite, and more. It may have been his job to give it or I may have been asking for too much. At any rate, I don't think it was good for him or me when I look back on it.
* I have always tried to support my sisters on both sides of this fence. I don't feel like they have always supported me.....then or now. They might feel the same way. I will say that I fully understand better now what some of my working friends were feeling way back when I wasn't working. I get it now, girls. Touche. But I do hate the constant bickering and martyring. It does none of us a service and only further divides.
* Raising my son has been invaluable both when I didn't work and now that I do. However, a lot can be said for actually earning a wage for what a person does. Enough said.
* I don't regret one bit of the time I didn't work and didn't earn a thing. From birth to age 7 my kid was my job, my goal, my life and my every concern. I will never have to look back and be sad that I didn't have that time with him. Love me or hate me for that, working moms, but I was lucky and fortunate for those years.
The arguments and debate could go on and on. Does it ever change? Does it ever get us anywhere? Did this great radio debate this morning bridge any gaps in the least?
Oh, what is the answer for us all?????
Only you know, dear girls. Only you know what works and what doesn't. Only you know what feels right and where your heart is. Don't let Sheri on the radio or Gloria Steinem or The President of the PTO or your own mom tell you what to do or think. You know what's best. Just go out there and do that best at whatever it is you're doing.
Your kids, for either choice, will love you for it. This I know.
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