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Testimony

 You would be surprised at how many people tell me their stories.  It happens to me in all kinds of places.  At my job as an administrator in construction.  In friendships, both intimate and just-met.  In people that I meet in different places I go, both casual and professional.

The funny thing is, I can always just tell when someone wants to talk......wants to share.  There is something about the way they look at me, the way they test the water and then dive in.  I know they want to unburden themselves.  I'm no priest, but I'll be your confessor if it helps you.

And it helps that I have taken on "auntie" status as deemed by a young coworker of mine.  I'll take that.  I'll take the title of Auntie every day and twice on Sunday.

In the protestant fundamentalist branch of the church, your testimony is the path you took to find salvation in Christ.  Maybe you got there by the school of hard knocks: addiction, abuse, a lifetime of bad choices.  Those testimonies are always the most interesting to hear.  I've noticed over my life that a lot of people like to let go of those awful demons, and when they find a kind ear they will unleash.

Many people have confided in me on two subjects: being divorced and being the parent of a  special needs child.  I have experience with both.

I can tell you how to be kind and forgiving.  How to handle anger.  How to be well.  How to be devastated.  How to move on.  How to make peace.

But most of all, I can listen to everything you've been through and give you consolation that you are not wrong and not alone.

Recently, a very kind late 30's man, who I have gotten to know over the years of work, stood and told me about a coworker fatality that had rattled him.  A man killed in a drunken driving accident had shook up his own feelings about his sobriety and mortality.  I believe he reckoned with feelings he didn't even know he still had when simply reporting the accident to me became a deluge about his own past experience of close calls.  After we talked, he reached across my counter to take my hand and with tears in his eyes told me that he was glad we had talked.

I consider it no small gift that people confide in me in this way.  It has been one of the biggest joys of my life being a person that people feel safe enough to open up to.  I take it seriously, I offer what I can, and being a non-therapist that still possesses a social work heart, I always encourage them to follow it up with their doctor, therapist and/or support system. 

Another new friend recently shared a lot of PTSD experience after we started talking in a kitchen at a party.  It's incredible to be trusted in this way!  

Sometimes I feel drained after a talk like this.  Once I had to leave and splash cold water on my face because I believe a chat was so intense that it brought on my own anxiety and then a hot flash! Sometimes this outpouring of personal story can leave people feeling guarded later and wishing they hadn't told you.  It can even strain established relationships.....too much truth.

But even with that, I still feel grateful.  Maybe of all the good qualities and gifts that people bring to the world, maybe this is mine.  To listen without judgement.  To be safe harbor.  To be a warm heart.  And I'll take that every day and twice on Sunday.

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