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When I Think of You....

 When it's cold outside, I wonder if you've zipped up your jacket.  I wonder if you're looking out of windows at the snow.  I wonder if you miss your mother.

When someone our age dies, I wonder if you ever stopped drinking.  I wonder if you're living better.  I wonder if you're trying harder.

When I see anime, I wonder if you went to school today.  I wonder if you're eating enough.  I wonder if the world will get wider for you.

When I hear a Southern drawl, I wonder if you're driving.  I wonder if your smile is just as happy.  I wonder if I'll meet you in that same parking lot.

When I see fireworks, I wonder if you remember that summer.  I wonder how my heart ever healed.  I wonder how I ever let you go.

When I hear The Clash, I wonder if you're still fighting the man.  I wonder if you ever quit that shitty job.  I wonder if you ever left home.

When I hear a baby cry, I wonder if his mother is okay.  I wonder if they're both sleeping.  I wonder if she needs a sister friend.

When I hear Blues Traveler, I wonder if you're still smoking. I wonder if you're all the way grey yet.  I wonder if you remember that first kiss on Tremont Avenue.

When the world is dark, I wonder if you're talking to a friend.  I wonder if you're reaching out for help. I wonder if you're crying alone in your room.

When I see a hippie goddess, I wonder if it turned out the way you wanted.  I wonder who you're manipulating.  I wonder who's your hero now.

When I eat dolmades, I wonder if you're cooking.  If you're drumming.  If you're laughing.  If you hate me.  If you wish it was different.

When it's too sunny outside I wonder if you're wearing flip-flops on your route.  I wonder if you're flirting with women on the street.  I wonder if you ever got slapped.

When I smell coffee, I wonder if you're writing.  I wonder if you've healed.  I wonder if you think of that one Christmas.

When I see a classic car, I wonder if you remember that first date.  I wonder if your eyes are still as blue.  I wonder why I was never enough.

When I hear Taylor Swift, I wonder why you're so angry.  I wonder why you're never satisfied.  I wonder why you were so hard on me.

When I see a moppy kid, I wonder how you might have turned out.  I wonder how it would have changed us.  I wonder if life would have been easier.

When I hear a Kingsbridge accent, I wonder if you're having a beer.  I wonder if you're still a mad devil. I wonder if you remember me.

When I see The Big Book, I wonder if you're still sober.  I wonder if you ever found peace.  I wonder if you realized you used people too.

When it snows, I wonder if you're watching through windows.  I wonder if you have a warm body beside you.  I wonder if you have books piled up on your nightstand.

When I see a toddler in the park, I wonder if I was the best I could be.  I wonder why it went by so fast.  I wonder if why it was harder for us.

When I think of Delaware, I wonder if you ever got married.  I wonder if you still have your hair.  I wonder how we could have survived that year without each other.

When I smell raw tobacco, I remember those swampy gnats.  I wonder if kids still buy all those books. I wonder if your parents are still alive.

And when I see spectacles tilted down on the nose.  I wonder.  I wonder if you died in a peaceful place.  And when I hear my name.  Rebecca.  I wonder if anyone will ever say it that way again.

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