Everything I Needed to Know I Learned from Dazed and Confused

(It's the last day of school here in the Piedmont of North Carolina....
This classic is always worth a re-run.)

School should always be over by the end of May.
Preferably before Memorial Day.

Always speak in code. Always.

There are always mean girls. 70's, 80's and so on.
Mean Girls weren't invented by Millennials.

But there are always nice girls too, and you just can't beat
an awesome big sister type. Even if she's not yours.

There's always a guy spouting some wisdom.
It may be questionable.....

But he's ALWAYS got some advice.

There's always a mean guy that mysteriously is allowed
to hang with the cool nice guys.

There's always a dippy coach that thinks he's still cool.

There's always a mean coach that THINKS he's
noticed everything.

There's that one cool teacher that wants to inspire no matter
how little you really care.

There's that one teacher who's kind of a smartass but
was also pretty cool.

The times you thought you were bored, you will later
look back on as being the times of your life.

There's always some mean guys and some cool guys.
Sometimes you can't pry them apart to figure out
which is which.

In Texas, you're apparently allowed one black friend.

There was always that one cute, smart, awesome girl
who didn't know she was all of those things.
You'll probably marry her later. Much, much later.

There's always that one stoner girl.

All the best theories, ideas and deep thoughts come after a
night of heavy drinking and toking.

Once upon a time, the worst way the night could end was
with a fight. A fist fight. And nobody died.

And there was nothing better than reliving it all later with
your music and your memories. Life was good. All good.

Reclaiming Your Childhood: Priceless

This story might take a minute to tell. Bear with me. When my sister and I were little girls, my mother took us to a large baptist church in town. Even as a child, I never remember feeling welcome there. But I do remember the lovely older couple that kept my Sunday School class. They gave us saltines and kool-aid, and I remember thinking they would be nice grandparents to have. At Christmastime, the Sunday School class was set to have a random gift exchange. Every child was supposed to bring a gift that could be exchanged with any other child.....no specific gift designations. I received the gift of an Avon 7 bead necklace which was very popular at the time. I loved it so much and was thrilled to have it! I was somewhere between 5 and 7 at the time. (Back in the 1970's and 80's, Avon was a cosmetic company that was also known for it's inexpensive jewelry. I couldn't find a price on what this necklace would have cost back then, but apparently there is ...

My Week with Rumor

My dog Rumor was an experiment. A trial offer. And all parties knew that going in. Except for maybe Rumor. Rumor was an outdoor country dog. His given name was Ruger (named after a firearm if you don't know, I didn't) which made sense for a dog raised in hunting country. He was a stray that came to live with a loving family at about the age of 1. He lived outdoors, slept in a garage crate at night, frolicked with an older dog pack and had a lovely life. We think he was about 4 years old. He had been neutered, had vet care and was by no means a "rescue". His dad offered Ruger to me on a give-it-a-try basis. He knew I wanted a dog. He told me Ruger would be sweet to me and also be my protector. He was right on both counts. He told me if it didn't work out, I could bring Ruger back to him and his wife. I could tell they were a little sad when they dropped him off. It made me glad to see that Ruger came from such ...

NYE for $200, Alex

Can we all just agree that New Year's Eve is the worst of the string of winter holidays? I would even go so far as saying it's THE WORST of all the holidays. I loved when Stanford Blatch defined a party as feeling very "forced festive". To me, most NYE parties feel that way. The idea that this is a big year-end blow-out and we'd all damn well better make it awesome! The reason I hate NYE is because it combines two of things I most hate about celebrations: cold weather and crowds. Plus it's during a time of year when everyone has already spent all their money. AND you usually have to the leave the house. ADDITIONALLY, you have to stay up late. It's a big F.U. from me on all this. I would dare say that some of my happiest New Year's memories have been spent at home in my pajamas with either my child, an S.O. or happily alone. I remember one unforgettable year of moving into a 3rd floor apartment on NYE. I rememb...

Becky's Greatest Hits Vol. II

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