The Confidence of Loners

I saw Brokeback Mountain in a theater by myself. At the time, very few people knew what an incredible film it would be. My husband of the moment drove me to the art house theater and had a few beers next door while I watched. Another solitary lady was sitting near me. We sobbed and looked across at each other a few times....an unspoken understanding between us.

Over the years, I've gotten used to doing a lot of things on my own.....eating out, traveling, driving long distances, shopping, even sometimes going to some local events. Sometimes I know I'll run into someone I know, so I don't mind making the lonely lady entrance because I'm sure I'll meet friends soon enough. Other times, I kind of welcome a quiet alone-time experience.

I once even took a weekend trip by myself which I called my Mommy Reading Retreat. I rented a cabin by a lake, stocked the fridge and didn't leave for 2 days. I slept late, ate junk, sunbathed on my pier while waving at boaters, read novels on the swing of my wrap-around porch while the rain poured.....it was absolute bliss. There is nothing, not a single thing, another person could have added by being there.

Often in movies, a person is shown to be sad if they're alone. They are struggling through something. They are alone and pitiful. One man against the world. No friends, no hope, no love.

When actually, a lot of people are reveling in a new found freedom or maybe the release from a personal burden. They're out living their lives. A moment of sitting alone in a bar, movie theater or restaurant doesn't make them sad, it actually makes them pretty strong.

I'm always amazed when people say something to me like "I could never do that". Eat alone? Enjoy a beautiful ocean front condo by yourself? The hell you say. The next time you're out in just such a situation, give the area a good look around. You'll see parents struggling with toddlers and awkward daters looking at you with absolute envy. You're not alone, my friend, you're free.

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