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I'm Not 17 Anymore.....And I'm Glad!

In keeping with always being incredibly behind the times, my high school sweetheart and I watched Easy A last night on FX.  

I feel the need to point out my husband was my high school sweetheart because whenever we watch flicks about high school, we inevitably end up talking about our school days together.  And we almost always agree, as probably anyone over the age of 30 will, that the times, indeed, are a'changing.

First off, I was pretty let down by this movie.  I thought I knew what it was all about, but obviously I was dead wrong.  How does creating and running your own rumor mill make you a strong young woman?  If you control the rumors about your sluttiness you are somehow empowered?   And then when a boy asks you out and actually wants some the action in the rumors, then you are insulted?   And it's not until you get insulted and cry your eyes out that you have the nerve to tell the boy you've liked since middle school that you actually like him?

 I've always prided myself on an above-average IQ, but I just don't get it.

 And I'll admit that every time I watch a current teen movie, I can't help but compare it to the great Hughes/Crowe mastery of my youth.  (Which is ironic that this movie pays a bit of an homage to those movies.)  And I'll be the first to say that not all of those movies were great.  I've always been fond of Sixteen Candles, Some Kind of Wonderful and Say Anything but never loved The Breakfast Club as much as everyone else.  And I also have really liked more current teen fare like Juno and Mean Girls.  

 But this?  I'm sorry, Emma Stone, it just didn't do it for me.

And whilst picking it apart with my HSS/Hubby I think I figured out my issues with today's TV shows and movies geared to teens:

1) There are never any rules!  Parents are buddies and they don't really care what their kids are doing.  Curfews are non-existent and everyone basically lives like grown roommates.  I guess I'm just old-fashioned.  I grew up having a good relationship with my folks, but I never had any doubt who was in charge.  And it wasn't me.

2) People had sex back in the 90s.  Of course they did.  But at least back then most people had the good sense to be private about it.  I don't know that we can really blame this on the kids when adults are so lacking in confidentiality themselves.

3) Is it really that hard to talk to the opposite sex?  Really?  I remember liking boys. Talking to boys.  Passing notes. Going on dates.  If you watch any of these shows or movies, you are lead to believe it is SO. FRIGGIN. COMPLICATED.

4) Social networking is obviously and big part of the game here and was not present to those of us in the Class of '93.  I will make an allowance for that.  But I will also assert that you can take yourself out of or rise above it if you want to.  You just have to want to.

5) Bullying is discussed so much now and it is different than when I was a kid.  But I've got some sad news to you yungins out there.  It never ends.  It only changes shape.  The sooner you learn how to stand up to it and deal with it, the stronger you will be.  If kids were still taking advice and directive from their parents (see #1) they might know this bit of wisdom already.

6) I'm about to say something here that is profound.  And it will make some people mad.  But I will stand by it until the day I die.   It's two important things:  a) Friends are not family.  b) Many people in your life, both family and friends, will let you down.  Knowing that, be very careful about who you allow to be the closest and most trusted people in your life.  When some people reach adulthood they feel very good about creating their own "family" of people they aren't related to.  That's not wrong, as long as you truly know you can trust and count on them.  On the other hand, some folks will stand by family members that hurt and abuse them simply because they are family.  I know this sounds like a circular argument, but the thesis applies to both: only trust and connect yourself to people who you know deserve it.  Time and actions will show you who that is.  

I am about to sound really old saying this, but do the movies represent the actions of teens or actually work to create it?  I mean, c'mon, even in The Breakfast Club Claire tells Andrew she'll be grounded and can't go to the party.  Do kids today even know what grounding is?   

 I have to admit that a lot of my feelings are circumstantial.  I remember seeing the awful flick that many people love called American Pie back in 1999.  I was 24 at the time and worked as a social worker for pregnant women and teens, so obviously the sexual free-for-all was lost on me.  It was when I realized I really was an adult. 

And this movie just reminded me again.  Thanks a lot.
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Comments

MikeHell said…
I have a hard time talking to the opposite sex. At least the initial introduction... it kills me and I have skipped it many times when I probably should have gone through with it. Now that I'm older, I still suffer from the same crippling fears I did as a teenager, I just rekindle old friendships and see where that goes. Right now? It's going. Where? I don't know. But, I should also point out that social networking is helping us old folk too. I wouldn't have reconnected with the girl I'm currently talking to, if not for facebook. See... it's not all evil!
October 14, 2012 at 5:27 PM
Becky said…
I think it's good for that very thing.....good for you!
October 15, 2012 at 9:39 AM
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