Book Pick: The 19th Wife

A really good historical fiction read always makes me go and do some further research on my own, and this book was no exception. And while I could never have the time to really comb the depths of it all, I do feel like I have a greater knowledge of Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, The Mormon Church, and Utah.

I do still have a lot of questions about the so-called holy underwear though.

Ebershoff, who also wrote the beautiful, The Danish Girl, has a lovely way of storytelling and the interweaving of past and present was riveting. I think most of us "Gentiles" are amazed at how any religion could so control its followers. Is it a cult? Aren't all religions on some level? Is polygamy just about sex and procreation or is it much bigger? And when religion seems to rule the regional vicinity, is there any other law?

These are only a few of the questions proposed by The 19th Wife. Which, the name alone, is tricky. How many wives do polygamists actually have? Nobody seems to really know, and THAT is only part of the mystery.

Hell, this book even made me miss the awesome HBO show, Big Love.

The truth is, as a people, we've always been infatuated with the over-infatuation of collecting wives. Oh, and the infatuation of same-sex couples. And whether or not and how babies are conceived. Huh. When you get right down to it, is that all people are really interested in when it comes to religious doctrine? Sex parts and birth control?

This book made me also give thought to my own feelings about Mormon missionaries, who I've had little experience with but do have opinions on. I used to see those clean white kids out on their bikes and actually feel a little respect for them. I'd comment to my husband that it was good that they were out pursuing their truth and serving their church. He vehemently disagreed because he disagreed with what those beliefs were. I kinda think now he was right.

I also used to have a young missionary who doggedly pursued me once she realized I was a captive stay-at-home mother with a new baby. I thought I was humoring her and then realized she was working very hard at me to be a new convert. I felt very deceived by her, but really, wasn't I the naïve one? Her job and role were very clear. I felt like I was placating her, but really, I was encouraging her to continue in her conversion of me.

I guess the upshot is that it's all very complicated. Marriage. Religion. Beliefs. History. There's always more than one side and more than one way. I guess that's why a lot of people, myself included, who choose to not participate in one or most of those endeavors. How can you blame them/us?

And sheesh, if it were reversed, who could tolerate more than one husband?

Reclaiming Your Childhood: Priceless

This story might take a minute to tell. Bear with me. When my sister and I were little girls, my mother took us to a large baptist church in town. Even as a child, I never remember feeling welcome there. But I do remember the lovely older couple that kept my Sunday School class. They gave us saltines and kool-aid, and I remember thinking they would be nice grandparents to have. At Christmastime, the Sunday School class was set to have a random gift exchange. Every child was supposed to bring a gift that could be exchanged with any other child.....no specific gift designations. I received the gift of an Avon 7 bead necklace which was very popular at the time. I loved it so much and was thrilled to have it! I was somewhere between 5 and 7 at the time. (Back in the 1970's and 80's, Avon was a cosmetic company that was also known for it's inexpensive jewelry. I couldn't find a price on what this necklace would have cost back then, but apparently there is a lot of inte

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The deaths of two local heroes in my community have really got me thinking. They were the epitome of "regular guys" doing great things and bringing a lot of happiness to others. They weren't politicians or beat cops or firefighters. They weren't curing cancer or scaling Everest. They were guys bringing joy and love to every day life. The kind of men you could sit and chat with and learn something from while you were doing it. They were pure and honest and real. Dan Wade is credited for making huge moves with bringing craft beer culture to Charlotte. He was part owner and brewmaster for Wooden Robot who was known for his zeal for life, dedication to his business and was described by friends and customers as "pure joy". When he died suddenly and tragically, he left behind a wife, a newborn son and a wealth of friends and family who loved and respected him. But he also leaves successful businesses and a model for going forward that will serve the enj

Is It Love or Just a Cheap Condo?

When you're single, everyone has advice for you. Especially people who haven't dated in over 20 years. Boy, are they full of it! Advice, I mean. Of course, that's what I mean. I never really felt like I had trouble dating when I was younger. I liked a boy, he liked me, we went out. Or either he didn't like me, I pined over him for 6-8 weeks then met a new boy. It didn't feel that hard or complicated. You spent time together, got to know one another, found activities you enjoyed doing together, checked on your chemistry and then boom! You had yourself a relationship. I'm not trying to make light of the tricky business of finding love. Not at all. On one hand, it's an absolute goddamm miracle that you can find a kindred flame in a whole other body. And someone who looks and smells good too! It's one of life's greatest beautiful accomplishments. Rufus Wainwright said it best (of course he says so many things best): "Life is a game, an

Becky's Greatest Hits Vol. II

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