I have always been one for enjoying lists, but many of the ones I've run across online are geared to the 20-somethings. You have to look to O and more mature women's magazines to find the list for my set, so I decided to do my own. I'm also annoyed that other lists seem to mainly focus on body issues and financial solvency. Not that those issues aren't important, but isn't there so much more to consider with a milestone birthday? So here we go with:
Everything I've Made My Peace With as I Approach Age 40......
1) I'm okay with not being "where it's at".
I blame social media for always making me feel like everyone else is out doing these fabulous things while I'm at home watching Elmo on a loop, folding laundry and reading a book. I used to really care and feel left out, but now? Not so much.
2) Being healthy matters.
I can no longer eat and drink whatever I want and I need more than 5 hours of sleep a night to feel like a human. Thems the brakes, kid. I should have worried about this before now, but better late than never, right?
3) I'm not embarrassed to leave the show/party/event early.
You kids can rock out all night and make out with the band. Me? I'll be in my bed by midnight feeling awesome and wake up in the morning feel even awesomer!
4) I don't mind not being one of the "cool kids".
Kinda goes along with #1. I don't look like every other woman. I don't shop very much. I don't know what all the slang, labels, songs, etc are all about. Aaaaaaaand......I don't care. I know what I like, and that's all that matters. File it under "basic" if you'd like, but I think it's actually just the opposite.
5) I'm finally healed and finished with my divorce.
It only took 6 years, right? Other folks who have been through it will understand. Even remarriage (and a good one, at that) doesn't always wipe the slate clean. Sometimes it just takes time and introspection.
6) My time is my own.
I used to always wonder if I was doing what I should be. Should I volunteer more? Should I go back to school? Should I join a gym? Not anymore. I do what I want in the time that I have, and I feel okay about it. I don't have to want what everyone else wants. (See: Glorification of Busy.)
7) Paying it forward in big and small ways makes me happy.
I'm always on the look-out for people in need. Maybe they need a loan.....or a ride......or just a friend. I try to give what I can and what I feel good about. I don't broadcast it and I don't keep it a secret. At the end of the day, I lay my head down feeling like I did my best.
8) My judgments won't fix/cure/help other people.
I'll never like what everyone else does. If they want my advice or help, I'll give it. If not, I'm staying out of it. I wasn't born to fix anyone.
9) I'm the best mother I know how to be.
I know my child will forever be my greatest love and greatest pride. He is also my greatest trial and worry. Sometimes I'm doing great and sometimes I fail miserably. I do think I'm a better mother now than I was 5 years ago, and for that, I'm proud. I hope I only get better and better.
10) I can't change the past.
Whether it all happened for a reason or was all completely worthless, it doesn't matter. It's over.
11) I won't be quiet to make you more comfortable.
Don't like what's on my Blog or Facebook page? Delete me. These are my places to rant, share, debate and urge. I won't stop talking because you don't think my causes matter. I feel ever stronger about some issues the older I get, and I don't see this changing.
12) My older life may not be as carefree as others'.
I have a child with special needs. In a few years, I will have an adult child with special needs. My aging life is going to be very different from most everyone else. I'm okay with this, and I need everyone else to be too. In other words, stop lamenting at age 42 that you want grandchildren someday or that somehow life didn't work out like you planned. You're preaching to the choir, sister.
13) I can't fake it.
Not kindness, not orgasms, not indifference, not tolerance, not ignorance. If I don't like you I won't try to hurt you, but I won't go out of my way to be your buddy. I won't buy you gifts and I won't ask how you are if I don't want to know. Just like my breasts and fingernails, my feelings and actions are real!
14) I tell people what they mean to me.
My son. My husband. My sister. My parents. My friends. My child's stepmother. In words. In deeds. All. The. Time. I thank people for things from years ago. I share feelings that are never too late to be shared. They may not reciprocate or even care, but I don't do it for them. It's for me.
15) I'm not intimated by or jealous of younger women.
Their journeys and mine are very different. I'm glad to learn from them and hope they will want the same from me. But if they're silly and immature, keep it moving.
16) And I don't want any younger mans either.
You girls can have that.
17) I like what I like.
I don't care if it's hip or weird or stupid or cool. If I'm into it, I am. This explains my love of Wilco, Fiesta Ware, Ken Follet, Mike Watt, hot fries, library books, tree sloths, The Beatles, heart-shaped lockets and unpolished nails.
18) Reminiscing is fun, but I'm happy with my life today.
The 90's were great. I can't help talking and reading about them. That doesn't mean I don't love my life now. C'mon......good memories are great to relive!
19) Cliches
There's nothing new under the sun......what goes around comes around........there's a lid for every pot........etc. Things that older people used to say that I found so annoying seems to be more and more true every day. Thanks, Universe!
20) There are some hateful people in this world. I've learned to keep my distance from them.
To quote the wise Taylor Swift: "haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate........"
21) I'm emotional. (Somewhere my husband just said "duh?")
I can still be shocked, surprised, angered, moved to tears and infatuated. And I'm glad. I don't want to become frozen and cynical.
22) I will always think of myself as a writer.
Not a failed one and not a frustrated one. I wrote the Great American Novel. It's sitting on a shelf right now. I still write stories in my head, and I probably always will. I will never be known for it. And that's okay. But I'll probably always do it.
23) I will always see myself as young and beautiful in my head.
This sounds conceited, I know, but I'm just being honest. It doesn't mean I'm in denial or upset about turning 40. But in my mind's eye I'm forever about 17 years old with long curly hair, sun-kissed skins and great legs. I don't see how this is bad for me. It gives me confidence and makes me feel strong when I need it. If I want this fantasy, let me have it!
24) I'm not very experimental or adventurous.
This is probably why I don't travel much or have a very sophisticated palate or like 50 Shades of Grey. I used to be embarrassed by this and try to make amends for it, but not anymore. Give me my grilled cheese sandwich and Vonnegut and be gone!
25) I'm never going to participate in or like sports.
I was out on the 1st round of Four Square at my company ice breaker. I don't altogether "get" football. I don't run and I don't hike. I will never talk about a baseball game the day after. I don't like tennis or aerobics. I like yoga and that's about it, and the athleticism of that activity is questionable.
26) Money matters, but not the way most people think.
I've been well off and I've been on the edge of poverty. One is obviously preferable to the other, but for me, they both had their drawbacks. The key is try to not let money run your life and make all of your choices. Save for a rainy day, but live in the now. That's what I try to do anyway. Either way, both experiences made me who I am and I'm grateful for it.
27) A book is better company to me that most people.
I feel a little snotty admitting it, but it's nonetheless true.
28) Leaving things on a random number is okay with me.
So there. 40......bring it!
17) I like what I like.
I don't care if it's hip or weird or stupid or cool. If I'm into it, I am. This explains my love of Wilco, Fiesta Ware, Ken Follet, Mike Watt, hot fries, library books, tree sloths, The Beatles, heart-shaped lockets and unpolished nails.
18) Reminiscing is fun, but I'm happy with my life today.
The 90's were great. I can't help talking and reading about them. That doesn't mean I don't love my life now. C'mon......good memories are great to relive!
19) Cliches
There's nothing new under the sun......what goes around comes around........there's a lid for every pot........etc. Things that older people used to say that I found so annoying seems to be more and more true every day. Thanks, Universe!
20) There are some hateful people in this world. I've learned to keep my distance from them.
To quote the wise Taylor Swift: "haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate........"
21) I'm emotional. (Somewhere my husband just said "duh?")
I can still be shocked, surprised, angered, moved to tears and infatuated. And I'm glad. I don't want to become frozen and cynical.
22) I will always think of myself as a writer.
Not a failed one and not a frustrated one. I wrote the Great American Novel. It's sitting on a shelf right now. I still write stories in my head, and I probably always will. I will never be known for it. And that's okay. But I'll probably always do it.
23) I will always see myself as young and beautiful in my head.
This sounds conceited, I know, but I'm just being honest. It doesn't mean I'm in denial or upset about turning 40. But in my mind's eye I'm forever about 17 years old with long curly hair, sun-kissed skins and great legs. I don't see how this is bad for me. It gives me confidence and makes me feel strong when I need it. If I want this fantasy, let me have it!
24) I'm not very experimental or adventurous.
This is probably why I don't travel much or have a very sophisticated palate or like 50 Shades of Grey. I used to be embarrassed by this and try to make amends for it, but not anymore. Give me my grilled cheese sandwich and Vonnegut and be gone!
25) I'm never going to participate in or like sports.
I was out on the 1st round of Four Square at my company ice breaker. I don't altogether "get" football. I don't run and I don't hike. I will never talk about a baseball game the day after. I don't like tennis or aerobics. I like yoga and that's about it, and the athleticism of that activity is questionable.
26) Money matters, but not the way most people think.
I've been well off and I've been on the edge of poverty. One is obviously preferable to the other, but for me, they both had their drawbacks. The key is try to not let money run your life and make all of your choices. Save for a rainy day, but live in the now. That's what I try to do anyway. Either way, both experiences made me who I am and I'm grateful for it.
27) A book is better company to me that most people.
I feel a little snotty admitting it, but it's nonetheless true.
28) Leaving things on a random number is okay with me.
So there. 40......bring it!
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